Cravings.

One issue with falling off the bandwagon is that when you try and jump back on it, you get the cravings from the wrong side of life. My biggest craving has been chips, hot chips, specifically from hungry jacks. I love their veggie burger and chips. Yesterday I had a really massive day at work, it was great but just very tiring. I am learning new things and it has really wiped me out. I knew I had today off so I came home and had a nap. During the day I had eaten some naughty stuff as there was a party and I allowed myself a treat. I wasnt really hungry so S and I decided to have a cook your own night. I spent about 1/2 an hour after waking up debating if I wouldnt bother and just go and have hungry jacks for dinner. I had a treat (or several, damm rocky road slice) that day and I was craving the sugar, I KNEW I was craving the sugar. The problem with giving into your cravings is that as soon as you have finished, the feeling of remorse smacks you up the side of your head and you wish x 1000 that you had just chose the healthier option. Finally I got up off the computer and stood in front of the fridge. I had all the healthy options I needed in there and with a sigh I ended up making myself a roll, multigrain, avocado, light cheese, egg and mustard and I had a small packet of Sakata's as dessert. I immediately felt like I have conquered the insurmountable, so because I was refreshed after a nap and because I knew I was headed in the right direction I went to the gym. I didnt get there till 8.30pm, but thankfully my gym is a 24hr one and I was able to spend as much time as I liked. I warmed up on the rower, 5 mins and then did a lovely 5k jog. So much for my plan to take the running easier, I was just so happy to be running along that I kept going and going. This morning my ITB is sore, but so very worth it. I finished off with a 5min cycle on the bike and I was done :) Happy times. This is the Meighan I have come to know!

Take care,
Megs xx

A new mindset, a new program...

I think we all get tired. Tired of trying to make the right choices and be the best version of yourself. Since I moved and since I started to have a busier lifestyle, I became tired. I sort of let myself go. My fitness, my motivation and I embraced an old lifestyle that, to be honest, I was scared would come back. I joined ww again, which I blogged about but after a week I was really over it. I have done ww, sometimes sucessfully, sometimes not. I just feel like I need a fresh start, I need to look at my lifestyle now and how I can improve on that. I needed someone to aspire to, someone who has faced similar struggles and thats how I came across Amy. Amy is an exceptionally insprational person. I cannot express how awesome she is. Her blog is www.aimtochange.com.au She started at 190kgs and is now down to 95kgs. Honestly I cannot describe what an absolute inspiration she is for me. So I started to really go through her blog and see what is was that worked for her. And thats when I came across the biggest loser website. I know the TV show, I dont think there are many people out there who dont. The website is http://biggestloserclub.com.au/ . I started to read what others had said and then I thought, is it really going to hurt to try? So I decided to give ww a miss, and try the biggest loser online weight loss club. After doing all the standard data entry, I decided to print off their shopping list. Now I am probably not going to make the same meals as them, but then I thought, well if I have the same food in the house I can make my own versions. S was really amazed at what was in the fridge, it was bursting, but with healthy foods. Even if I dont eat their meals, I can still track my calorie intake with my daily diary. I also get exercise goals for the week. Exercise has been my main concern at the moment, I am so tired. Full time work is absolutely flogging me, so instead of trying to fight with my body and because I am still fighting my leg/running injury, I have decided to exercise more conservately. My main exercise atm has been walking the dogs, with the odd gym session thrown in, mainly when I am on days off. Its not my most hearty effort, but I am trying not to beat myself up and just let my body do what it needs to do atm.

I am down to 101kgs again which I am really happy with. Which means a 20.4kg loss again. So Ill just keep plugging away.

Take Care,
Megs xx

Where has my mojo gone?

The love of running, the 90min gym sessions, eating well, thinking positive.

Have you seen it?

Back on track...

My first week of ww has seen me lose 800gms. Pretty happy with that. It wasnt a completely on track week as I was getting used to having to log on and enter all my food and I was a bit lazy at times. I made sure I at least walked with the dogs for exercise, not as much gyming as I would like, I am going to have to work out a better schedule for that!

Today was a day off though and I got out with the dogs for a 30min walk, then headed to the gym and did a 30min jog, a 20min bike ride at random intervals and a 10min cool down. All up I burnt 610calories which I am happy with.

S has been away for two weeks and as of this friday he wont have to go away in two week blocks anymore so I am hoping to alternate days where he can walk the dogs alone and I go to the gym after work and vice versa. I really struggle going to the gym in the morning when I working, it sounds lame but I am already getting up so early and have such a physical job that I find more energy after I finish than first thing in the morning. But at the end of the day its that you went, not what time of day you go!

Should probably go, have an appointment early in the morning. Take care,
Megs xx

I joined back up...

To weight watchers.

I have decided to be more proactive with my food. Clearly intuitive eating doesnt work for me as I am still harbouring lingering binge eating tendencies and I just dont get that clearly full sensation.

I will reach my goal. I signed up for unlimited so I can go to meetings when I am not working! Its on a Tuesday night. I also need to make an effort to use the gym more, its a 24hr facility so there really isnt any excuse!

In good news I did the Valley Stampede 5k mud fun run today with S. www.valleystampede.com.au
It was insanity. Took us close to 1.5hrs (official times should be out over the weekend). But we had a laugh. Ran the first part but once we started to get soaked with water and covered in mud the running pretty much stopped and we walked and crawled our way to the finish line. Got some bruises and sore body parts but alot of great memories!

Take care,
Megs x

Hmmmm not the best start....

Macca's, pizza hut all you can eat, poached eggs and alotta alcohol.

Come on Megs.

Okay

101.7kgs.

Goal is 99.5kgs by the 12th December. So thats 2.3kgs. I will weigh in once, half way through to see how I am going.

Bring.it.on!

Where have you been Meighan?

Where have you been?

You havent been out there, busy losing weight, because last time you checked you were actually a kg heavier than the last time you were in here.
You havent been out training, because last time I looked there was no dirt on your shoes or sweaty gym towels in the car.
You havent been out making healthy food choices, because there are take away wrappers in the car and in the bin.

So, where have you been?

10kgs seems to be the place where I lose myself. Happened at the first 10kgs and happened again when I hit 20kgs lost. I stop, think, woweeee I am happy and fine and ready to relax.
But what I have to accept, what I have to get through my mind, is that I can never relax. Each day is about finding new ways to incorporate health and fitness into my life. Its not about reaching 20kgs lost and thinking, oh well I am good now, Ill eat that extra dessert or I'll have a second helping. That is teaching me nothing, getting me nowhere.

I have had a busy month, Ill give myself that. We moved back to the city, I got a new full time job, I got sick and I got injured. But really, so what? Does that mean I am allowed to eat a tub of ice cream, have hungry jacks for dinner and skip a workout session. Well, no, not really. Actually, no not at all.

Tonight I was catching up on a blog (and a lady) that really inspires me. Her name is Amy and she has lost 95kgs. Her story makes me want to cry, cheer and laugh at the same time. You can read her blog here: http://aim-to-change.blogspot.com/
After reading it, I decided I am going to set myself a goal. I am going to weigh in this saturday morning, and exactly one month from this date I am going to be under 100kgs. I dont care if I have to lose 100gms or 3kgs, I will be under this number in one month. No if',s but's, or maybe's. I know I can do it, running injury be dammed, time poor be dammed and mind me dammed. Its time to move it!

Take care,
Megs x

A better day....

I didnt get up for my early long run like I had planned. I was asleep until 9am and then it was too hot and I was too tired! I know, I know. Instead I cleaned the house, took the doggies for a lovely walk and a visit to their doggie friends and had a nap. This afternoon I woke up feeling much better. My head felt less foggy and I felt like I wanted to go for a run.
I decided I would try for 3km. I struggle with afternoon runs as they seem to upset my stomach, I now know to make sure there are toilet stops along the way. This afternoon however I hit the 2.5km mark and I felt good, I was setting a good pace, 8.30 first km and 8.20 second km. So I decided to spread my distance out. I ended up doing 5.1km in total, with an average pace of 8mins30seconds and I did the 5k in 42mins28secs. It was great.

I have logged 20.4kms this week which is great. I really want to run 20+ kms a week in preparation for my half. My food hasnt been fantastic this weekend, S and I were talking about ice cream on the phone and I was craving one something shocking, but I used the money to get a DVD instead and am making a protein based muslei and strawberry yoghurt for dessert instead. Baby steps :-)

Take care,
Megs xx

We can be our own worst enemies.

I jumped on the scales for my weigh in today. I lost 700gms this week. Awesome. I finally felt that my plateau had been broken as I have lost 1.1kgs in the last two weeks. Yay, right? Well, after I weighed in I had breakky and then decided to head out for a run. I wanted to do the hill. I started out and my stride didnt feel right, I felt tired right from the begining and I just knew I wasnt in the right head space. I made it halfway up the hill, but didnt jog all of it. Then I couldnt work out how to alter my stride to go downhill, so I walked some again. I jogged home, but my pace was sluggish and I felt like my form was poor. In truth, it was a dead set horrible run. I came home and tried not to be too disappointed, but I felt like my whole day was off. I went grocery shopping and brought home a king size snickers, and well ate it. I had oven baked chips for lunch, I ate four biscuits for afternoon tea and I had a whole pizza to myself for dinner. I am up and its 12.30am, mainly because I feel so sick in the stomach and bloated. I didnt enjoy my food. It was heavy and starchy and I feel terribly thirsty, but I did it anyway.

I am not new to comfort eating, it is something I have struggled with for many years. It plays a large role in why I am the size I am, or was. But there comes a time when you have to accept that you're in control of what you eat. Sure, I had a bad day. Sure, I had a lousy run which made me have a freak out about my half and how on earth I was going to do it when I seriously clocked a 10min km this morning. So whats the solution? Well for starters I have to stop napping during the day, its ruining my evening sleep on the weekend, making me sluggish. I have to think before I eat. I rang up the take away tonight with the intention of getting some chips and my vegie burger, but when they didnt have scallops I decided that I needed a pizza instead. So, I need to think about the reality that I may not be mentally ready to deal with take away food. I need to stop thinking that having a walking period in a run is failure, especially when I am trying something new. The fact is, I still ran 5.3kms out the 6 odd kms I went, so I didnt fail. I merely tried, didnt do as well as I wanted, so I have to try again. I need to stop trying to talk myself out of the half, every time I have a doubt I can feel my hand on the abort button. On the 27th Nov, at 7am, I WILL be on the starting line.

What can I do right now, I can go to bed, get up tomorrow and start again.

Take Care,
Megs x

Mixing it up..

I decided to head to a circuit class tonight. I took the dogs for a 40min walk first, I then came home, got changed and headed to the gym. I warmed up by doing a 20min jog, maintaining a 8.34min/km pace, I then jumped off and did an intense 30 min circuit class which included holding a squat position leaning against the wall, jumping squats, crunches, squats holding a bar above your head, star jumps, burpees, push ups with a squat in between and this exercise where you laid down and threw a medicine ball up and then caught it. It was hard, I was knackered, but felt really good at the end. I came home and loaded up my dinner plate with vegies including brussel sprouts, brocoli, peas, beans, zuchini, potato and some vegie tofu bites. I have to say, today I felt good despite having an awful nights sleep.

I also decided to participate in a fun run a week before my half. But its not your average fun run;
http://www.valleystampede.com.au/

Its going to be all kinds of awesome, I cannot wait!

Take care,
Megs x

Nailed it!

What a workout.

It began by me walking the dogs with S down to the gym. Its around 20mins by foot. Nice walk, nice weather. I then jumped on the treaddy and did a 10min warm up jog and went 1.1kms. Then I did boxing with E my Pt/Friend. We did several drills including kicking and speed work. I was working so hard I sweated from sheer exhaustion. We then finished it off with ab work, not one single one but a mix.

All up I did 95mins. It felt good. I burned. My hands were shaking. But thats what its about. Pure adrenalin and exertion. Love it.

Feel the Fury!



Take Care,
Megs x

Happiness..

It's small achievements in the face of adversity, knowing you could have given in, but making that concious choice not to.
For me, this was yesterday. I had a rough day, emotional and draining. I wanted to get out of the house, I wanted to do anything other than sit on the lounge and watch DVD's and make poor food choices. I want freedom from my mind. And what better way to achieve this than to move, move the body - you force the mind to think about something else. I went to the gym, on my training program I had hills factored in. They help with building leg strength. So for every song I ran on the treaddy, I went up 0.5% incline. By the last song I was at an incline of 3%. I kept my pace steady at 9mins a km for the whole 25mins I was tackling the hills and it felt good. I did 2.7kms in total. The treaddys at the gym time out at 25mins and I was going to jump off and do something else but I felt so good from running that I just started the treaddy again and did another 20mins at 8.30min kms. I did another 20minutes and another 2.4kms, taking my total to 5.1kms. I got off the treadmill and it was like I had cried, like I had allowed myself to grieve completely. But I hadnt, I hadnt droped a tear, I had sweated buckets. But my mind, I gave it what it needed. And it felt cleansed. I made my peace with what was troubling me and I moved on.

In other news I have lost 400gms of the 500gms I had put on over the last few weeks. I keep saying, fingers crossed that the plateau has been broken, but in reality the only one who can change that is me.

New Stats:
Sw: 121.3
Cw: 101.3
ltw: 0.4
ltd: 20kgs

I also had a strange moment last night. I was reading about Big W's new plus size line online. And it had been getting some good reviews, so I thought well Ill go online and check it out and maybe buy something. And then I stopped. I dont need to buy plus size anymore. It doesnt apply to me anymore. And I sat back in the chair, speechless.

A song I am loving at the moment:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mlAL_XmSTLg

Take Care,
Megs x

Not a natural runner...

I am by no means a natural runner. I kinda look like this;

And it got me to thinking, would I love it as much if it were easy? I am pretty stubborn, I dont like being told that I cant do something or that I shouldnt. I always have to test it out myself. It drives S mad because he can tell me something 100 times but unless I do it myself I dont believe him. With running I am slow, my technique isnt great, I am still obese and sometimes I let my mind get the better of me. But, you know, I kind of love that. I love that there is room for me to improve on, I love that I can still do it despite the obstacles, I love that I have to work on it because it makes me stronger both mentally and physically. Dont get me wrong, I see other people out there and think man I wish I had your technique, or pace or sheer grace but thats life. I love the quote "The grass is always greener, but just as hard to mow". Some of the best runners I know still battle with mental block, injury and time disppointment. Being good doesnt automatically mean they have no challenges. And one day, when I look back at how far I have come, I will have a pretty awesome story ;-)

Take Care,
Megs x

Time to harden up...

I have blogged about feeling sick over the last few weeks/months. I have had a lingering gut issue, a lingering virus and just a general feeling of blah. Well, after having no definitive diagnosis of anything that has been happening, over the weekend I took some time to reflect on what was really going on.

I have made some really awesome plans of late. The half marathon, my friend E made me up a training program which is actually alot of fun and quite varying to keep me interested, I have had some really great news regarding moving back home to where S and I come from, we have had house news and Ive almost finished my degree. All really positive stuff. And I had periods of that in there where I felt really motivated with my training, which I am sure my blog posting reflected. But I havent been comitted, not like I was at the begining of the year. I would have a couple of good days and then feel really blah again and lose my commitment. So whats the solution, well a part of me thought about giving up on the HM idea. And then I really stopped, and this was over the weekend. And I thought, why? Why stop? How is that a solution, because thats just plain giving up.
I have all the tools I need to help me get near where I need to be. I have S and E as wonderful support, I have my training, I have the ABILITY to train, I have a bit more time comming up, I have the desire. Well again, its a mental block. Its about getting out there when I really, REALLY dont want to and getting over that hump. I think its like I have almost psyched myself out of doing the HM. Because when I signed up I was hopeful and fantasising about it. I had an idea, not a plan. Then I got a plan, but for a plan to work you have to make it work and suddenly it doesnt matter if you have every single person in the world telling you, you can do it - if you dont believe you can. So how do you reconcile that?
There is only one thing you can honestly do and thats harden up. I read an online blog of a man who had a starting weight of 500pounds which is 226kgs. His goal is to run a marathon. He has already lost a whopping 200pounds which is incredible. Reading his blog, it really hit home. Sometimes you just have to do it, there isnt an instant reward or treat. It isnt about reaching a goal everyday. Sometimes its just about getting out there and keep going. Keep moving forward, because if you dont you'll start to go backwards and it can be a really slippery slope.
So this morning I got up and went to the gym. I did my training program. I aimed to eat clean and I did fairly well at that. I had a good day.
Take Care,
Megs x

New..

I got a new tattoo today. Its to motivate me for my half. I got it on my right calf.

The quote is "Run when you can, walk if you have to, crawl if you must - just never give up". I got it put on my calf so that perhaps when I am running, I can inspire others who may be behind me. To never give up..

Sometimes you just have to get off the lounge.....

What a day. It was long and I was physically and mentally exhausted by the end of it. So much so that I could barely keep my eyes open when I came home. Being home alone these last two weeks has been hard, I have been trying to keep on top of everything and well, somethings are just slipping through the cracks. This included my exercise. When I had more time I was going to the gym almost every day, I was running, I was walking the dogs. I was enjoying being active. But long days meant that I have just been ready to crawl into bed as soon as I walk in the door. And I dont like it.
Well I came home, heavy with fatigue and I cooked dinner and I layed on the lounge for an hour or so and I played around on the computer. But I was restless. I was tired, I AM tired. Exhausted in fact. But I was restless. I took the doggies for a walk this morning, but I wanted to do more. So, while I was wandering around the house thinking of things I should do, I realised - I wanted to go to the gym. And you know what, I did. I could have thought of a million reasons not to go. I could have talked myself out of it quite easily. Actually as I was putting my clothes on, I almost talked myself out of it. But I perserved and I am so glad I did.
I went and did 10mins on the rower, then I did 25mins of upper body weights which included bar lifts, chest presses, rows while balancing on a medicine ball, the plank, and two different types of ab crunches. I then finished it off with 10mins of a good peddle on the bike. I burnt 380calories in 45mins. It was good. I am more tired than when I left, actually I think I will probably go to bed and pass out, but it was what i needed.
It seems really quite simple. When in doubt, exercise. When you feel it, do it. But its not. Life gets in the way, big time. But sometimes you just have to do it for you. Just get off the lounge, push that little bit more and then come home and resume the horizontal position :-)

Take Care,
Megs x

Our own worst critic....

On Saturday I woke up and felt good, so I decided it would be a perfect morning to get out there and go for a run. I started off a bit sluggish, I hadn't run in a week so my legs took most of the first km just to warm up. Once I hit my stride though it was good, I did a nice loop around town and managed to do 7.2kms in total. I was a bit disappointed when I got home though, my time was 1hr and 4mins. It seemed so SLOW. I mentioned this on a running group online I chat with and they really put it into perspective for me. Especially the lady who said, imagine what it would be like for an elite athlete to carry an extra 30-40kgs around and still perform at a high level. At the end of the day I am still 101kgs, I am not the fastest I can be because I am not the perfect weight for my body. As one lady also pointed out to me, most people cant actually run 7k for the fact that I did it, well thats pretty special.
I think we can get caught up in wanting to be the best or be better than we are and sometimes when you are so focused on that you forget to appreciate how far you have come. At the begining of the year I could barely run 200m's. Now I am training for my first HALF MARATHON. I mean really, how can you compare that. Sometimes you need to take a step back and just appreciate what your body can actually do.
I have this fear of comming last. Its irrational, but I hate the thought of being pitied or laughed at because I was too slow or not good enough. But once I stop and think about it, I am in a group of people that have found a passion for something. And I am running for something that is bigger than me, bigger than my fears. I am running to raise funds and awareness for a wonderful organisation, I am running for those who cant. I am running for my friends, my supporters, my family, my beautiful husband. I am running because I can, because I personally live with mental illness, but most importantly I am running because I CAN.

Take Care,
Megs x

Its not about being good at it....

I've been blogging quite a bit this week, I must be feeling quite inspired (or its because S has gone away for two weeks and I am bored and dont really want to study).

One thing that has been on my mind and was said to me a few times today as I have been talking about my half marathon. And that is, "wow you must be a good runner". The short answer, no. I am no more spectacular than the average Joe, truth be told I am quite slow with my best 5k time at 39mins10secs. I My technique still needs work and I am still significantly overweight (20-25kgs) which brings down my speed as well. I spose then you can say what I lack in technique and time I make up for in perseverence. When I began running I did short bursts, like everyone I fatigued quite quickly and with the excess weight I was carrying I find it quite tough on my joints. Over time though, you do build up strength. Sprinter always amaze me, my PT/friend E is a sprinter and she can move like nobody's business, its incredible. With distances though, while speed is important, its about training your body to endure the pressure of moving for longer periods of time - its about training your mind to push through the boundary of feeling tired and to find that little extra.

The quickest I have seen someone do a 5k is 20mins, thats 4min splits. The fastest half marathon finisher for the half I am entered in was 1hr 11mins. So there are people out there who can run with the speed and agility of a sprinter but have the endurance for the long distances. There are people that compete to win. But the everyday person shouldnt fear running or entering into races because they arent in the same catergory. There is nothing marvellous about what I love to do, its something that everyone can build up. The BIG thing is, you have to want to. And if you dont, well thats okay as well. Some sports I dont like, sprinting, baseball, softball, golf. What would make me sad however is that if someone didnt run because they werent the fastest or the best and they didnt think they belonged. One thing I love about running is that its for everyone, you run in a group but there is an element of solitude. I remember in my first fun run I got a high five from another runner who was doing the 10k, it was awesome and put the biggest smile on my face. I have heard stories of people who collapsed just short of finishing but other runners gave up their PB's to help another runner finish. You cant buy that kind of mateship.

One day, just get out there and try it. And if you dont like it, well then you know. But dont not try because you think everyone else out there is a good runner. A quote I love by Dean Karnazes I try and remember every time I think I am not good enough to call myself a runner, or I think I wont finish.

"Run when you can, walk if you have to, crawl if you must; just never give up. "   

Take Care,
Megs x

If you're going to do it... then why not do it for someone?

I am an incredibly lucky person. I have had so much encouragement since I started my weight loss journey. I have had lovely messages sent to my with people sharing how much I have inspired them. I have had people sharing their own wonderful stories with me and what they overcame to reach their goals. I have had people believe enough in me to donate their hard earned money towards my goals. There will never be enough words in the world to thank everyone who has every said a kind word along this road I am walking (or running ;-) ) Rest assured though, every day I think of all of you. Every day.

So this morning was day one. Day one post meighans crazy idea. I didnt get to sleep till late last night, I was high on adrenalin ;-P So when my alarm went off at 6am this morning I hit the snooze button, and thought, it cant be that time ALREADY? Well it was, and this morning my goal was to hit the gym and do a leg weight session. It was good, I did squats, I went up from 20kgs to 50kgs and then I did dead lifts at 30kgs. I then did some leg presses and finished it off with sprinting on the bike. It felt good, although I am absolutely knackered now and could probably sleep for a week.

Tomorrow morning I plan on doing a tempo run, with the goal to start working on speed. Sundays I have reserved to work on distance. On wednesday I have another PT session early in the morning and thursday I will probably try an early morning run. Friday is my off day as I get up at 4am to get to work on time, so no real time there.

For now, I can hear the bed calling. My mind is still reeling at what I have signed up for. OH but before I forget, I posted on Dean Karnazes FB wall about my goal and he WROTE BACK. I am in heaven. I *may* have printed it out and its going on the wall under my sign. I even rang S and told him :-D

Take Care,
Megs x

How do you know if you cannot do it? You try.

A lady I have become friends with online completed her first half marathon today. She is an exceptional runner, I believe she is a natural. My posts lately have been up and down with my motivation, but today while I was thinking of what this particular lady was achieving and how that must feel I got to thinking - completing a half marathon is something *I* want to do, so that led me to think, well what is stopping me? Can I run? yes. Do I enjoy running distances as opposed to short sprints? yes. Do I have enough time to train? yes. Well when you lay your cards out on the table like that there doesnt seem to be a reason why I couldnt do it right?

I then come to realise, the only thing stopping me is me? I kept thinking, half marathon well that is 21.1kms, I mean come on. But then how do I know I cant. I can run, I can run 10k, whats an extra 11k really? The more I thought about it the more it seemed like a totally logical solution and before I knew it I was signing up for my first half marathon. I am going to do it in the central coast half marathon, and to make sure I dont pike out half way through I started a fundraising page and told EVERYONE on FB.

So now the work begins, and the work isnt so much preparing my body, its preparing my mind. I know my body can do it, it will be a matter of conditioning. But my mind, my beautiful and silly mind - well to be a little ironic, for this milestone my fundraising foundation is Sane Australia. An organisation supporting those caring for or living with a mental illness.

My PT/Friend E is going to help me train and I have put up a sign next to my bed and downloaded a training plan. So people - we're off and racing.

Fundraising page:
http://www.everydayhero.com.au/meighan_walker

Picture on the wall next to my bed, it will be the first thing I see in the morning:

Take Care,

Megs xx

Weigh in..

Another week, another weigh in.
I lost 200gms this week. Not a huge loss, but I am going for the slow and steady mind set at the moment. Its a little frustrating, especially considering how close I am sitting to being under 100kgs but I am determined to keep a better outlook on things at the moment. These past few weeks have been so busy, and its made me start to think more outside the box on how I am going to manage once I move away from studying and back into a full time job and where exercise and making healthy eating choices will come in.

For example, I work in my paid job on a Friday. Its 1.5hrs away (one way) so I have to get up at 4am and leave the house by 4.30am to be at the first place by 6am. On Friday I literally jumped out of bed, into the shower, wolfed down some breakfast and hit the road. I forgot to pack a museli bar or any fruit to keep me going because as you can imagine by the time 7/7.30am rolls around I am ready for some more food. So instead, I had half a slice of banana bread (shared with someone), I had two coffees (one with a double shot), and because I was running late I didnt have time to stop somewhere and order lunch that would need to be cooked or made (sandwhich etc) so I tried to work out what from maccas would result in the same amount of calories I eat at lunch and is vegetarian = so that equaled a med fries. Except, a med fries meant I was hungry early and still on the road so I had limited choices again. But, I am not in the habit of shoulda, woulda, coulda. So now I have a plan to make sure I make food the night before and have it ready to go as I race out the door. Its all a learning process in the end and if I knew everything then I wouldnt still be 20kgs overweight.

I also, as I typed, entered a new race. The Central Coast 10k fun run. Its on the 27th November and I am determined to do a PB in this one. I never made it to Townsville much to my disappointment, this stuff happening at home made it impossible to go, but this one I WILL be a part of and I WILL finish.

New Stats:
Sw: 121.3
Cw: 101.1
Ltw: -.02
Ltd: 20.2kgs
Mini goal: 100
Overall goal: 80

Best be off, Take Care,
Megs xx

Is there really an end of the road?

My recent blog post about motivation got me thinking. Is there an end of the road, an end of the line, the finish. Or am I destined to be on this journey forever. Forever, well its forever. Its until the day I die and without my crystal ball, I am hoping for a long life. So where will this end?

I guess for me, I need to come to grips with the fact that it wont ever end. I wont wake up one day and have genes which will make me skinny forever. My fitness wont stay with me, if I dont work on it. I wont be able to run forever, if I dont run today.

How do I feel about that? At first I felt irritated, when I woke up this morning I felt like I had a black cloud over my head. I am not unfamilar with depression and I could feel my fingers slipping from the grip I had on the ledge. And as I was sitting here, at 6.30am in the morning, browsing the web, eating breakfast and thinking about calling in sick to work because I felt so down - I stopped, sat back and said to myself. What do I want today to be?

So instead of crawling back into bed, I got up and put my trackies and a jumper on and I took the dogs for a walk. Then I came home, got dressed and walked to work. I had a good day. Then I got home and I wanted to go for a run, so I put my trackies back on and jogged 3.7kms. Wasnt a long run, but it was the fresh air I needed.

So no, it doesnt end. It never will end. But today was the first day in many weeks that I didnt want it to end. Today I wanted to be healthy and happy, so I went outside and I was happy. It was as simple as that.

Take Care,

Megs x

Opppssss.

Bit of time between posting these days. In some ways its quite symbolic of how I have been feeling about my overall fitness and the time I have invested into it. But I do have some updates so I shall share those and spend some time rambling about my lack of motivation at the end.

1) I cracked the 20kg loss mark last week. Was a nice feeling. But I was a little despondant, thinking well I still have a long way to go. Halfway is where I am sitting atm and it was nice but I didnt feel what I was expecting.

2) I also had my first fun run. I never made it to townsville, some other stuff came up and we couldnt make the trip. I did go in the Middkemount fun run, went in the 5k run. I did a PB time of 39mins 10seconds. It was a bit of a weird run, I had some pants issues and my bum bag was annoying me and I was so paranoid about comming last that I went out too fast and ended up feeling like death when I finished. My first km was like 6mins 30 seconds which was way to fast for what I could comfortably maintained. I also did come last in my group, 8th out of 8th and it bugged me. All this little things and I just fell flat.

As for the motivation. Well really I dont know whats been happening with me. I have had gut issues and am having an endoscopy on the 30th August They are looking for an ulcer, bacteria or a spasming gall bladder. I have also been working mon-fri and studying and I have lost my mojo. I feel sad and I am having nightmares. I could give you a list as long as my arm and I wish this blog post was more upbeat but its funny I just dont have the energy. I was looking at my running log and there is a signifcant drop in the amount I have been running.

And now all this talk of lack of motivation has me down, so I am going to sign off.

Megs x

I can still run..

Well seeing as I signed up to do the 5k fun run this weekend, I decided I should probably check to make sure I can still run :-D. Thankfully, I can. I did 5.2kms yesterday morning in 46minutes. Not my quickest run, but I havent run in two weeks since I got sick so I am feeling really positive about it. I am hoping to get out for a run tomorrow morning also, its my day off tomorrow and the plan is to do another run tomorrow and the have Fri/Sat without any sort of exercise (bar taking the dogs for a walk) to make sure I am completely rested for Sunday morning. This kind of idea is based on the concept of tapering, however I am not sure how applicable it is to smaller runs like a 5k. Basically tapering is that within the month before you do your competition run, you reduce the amount you run each week, and ideally in the week before you run 50-60% less than you normally would. It gives your muscles time to rest and rejuvinate, without you completely losing your form. Next week I will not do as many runs, possibly one or two in preparation, as this week I will have done a total of 15kms, which will be enough to prepare me for the following Sunday at Townsville.

I have to admit, the nerves are starting a little. As small in comparison as the fun run this week will be, I am feeling quite nervous and excited at the prospect. Just knowing I will have ran in and finished a fun run is beyond describable.

But back to reality, today I have to go to work and tomorrow I will try for another run.

Take Care,
Megs

Impromptu run...

I have been terribly, terrible in updating this blog of late. I have been sick, as well as completely overwhelmed with work and study and life in general. Sad to say that in this time not much training has happened, or much weight loss. The sickness really threw a curve ball in there and has made me feel physically weak, a sensation I havent felt for a long time.
About three weeks ago however, I saw a tiny little advert in our towns newsletter. It was a save the date. It was for a fun run, not much detail, just that there would be one on the 31st July, and you could do either 10 or 5k runs or a 5k walk. I was excited, a fun run in MY town - which is a mining town and not overly sporty at the moment with FIFO work becomming more dominant. So the next week I hung out for more detail but the tiny little ad had gone. This week, I was very excited to see it back in there, with more detail. Its run by the local sports association and its a fun run to raise money to finish the fitness walking paths around town. I had noticed in the last 3 odd months that more paths were being put in around town, I had no idea that the sports association were paying for them. Being sick the last week, I didnt even know if I would make the townsville run which is two weeks away, but when I got a registration form with my catalogues this afternoon I just KNEW I had to enter. So enter I will. I will be doing the 5k run, I am excited and nervous. Nervous I wont finish, nervous I will come last and nervous everyone will think I am fraud and not really a runner. But you know what, I am going to enter anway, because its important to me and it will be excellent training for the townsville 5k, which is a more serious competition.
So here I am, with a registration filled out for my second fun run and alot of nervous hope in my heart. Hopefully its a good day :-)

Take Care,
Megs x

No words...

There are no words for my day today. I knew I wanted to head out for a run this morning, it was on the cards. I hadnt run all week and I was itching to get out there. I slept a little later than I would have liked, so I decided to try a different route. I got S to drop me off at the gym and the plan was to start from there. I reserve the weekends for my long runs - I have the security of S being a phone call away in case I have another 'gastrointestinal issue' or I hurt myself and I 120% have more time, especially lately. Anyways I digress, so I headed out from the gym. I knew I wanted to do a more circular route around town, my last long run that was similar was 7kms and took me an hour so I knew I at least wanted to match that. I got right around without much worries, the 1st k was a bit harder because I was running into a headwin and it was quite cold this morning and so when I breathed in it burnt a little. Actually it was during that first k that I thought I might not be headed for a very good run, I was starting to doubt myself a little. But two things happened that made me smile and change my mind.

1) I saw a sign on someone's garbage bin which said "Life's a garden - dig it".
2) A contractor who has been living next door to me, smiled and said hi and said it was a beautiful morning for a run. It was such a lovely little interaction that just perked me up.

After that I started to settle into a better rhythm and instead of focusing on my pace or how far I was going, I settled down and went with the flow of the music I was listening to. I came to a full loop and decided to go and backtrack a little and head towards home, I hit an hour when I decided to back track and was feeling okay. I had remembered to hydrate better and at this point I had a gel sachet to give me a carb boost as I hadnt eaten breakfast. I was cruising along and before I knew I was home. I checked my garmin and I had hit 8.86kms, now I had two options. I could stop or I could go another loop of my street which would have taken me to 10ks and I knew I had it in me. So i jogged past my house and kept moving. I made it back to my house, clocking a distance of 10.05kms in 1hr and 34minutes.

I couldnt believe it. 10k's was always something I kept in my mind, a goal well more a dream. I never thought I would actually be able to do it. Remember this is the girl who could run for 1-2mins at a time at the begining of the year. Who was obese, unhappy and tired all the time. When I stopped my legs just felt like they werent attached to my body anymore. During the final 1-1.5kms I had started to develop a sore spot on my foot. I knew it hurt, but I asked myself - can you live with the pain? Or is it too much and live with it I did.

In this run I overcame my mind, my pain and the elements. I gave it my all, which is all anyone can ask of you. Your all may not be 10ks, it may be 100metres but if you know in that 100metres that there was nothing else you could have given, that you surrended every doubt, every scrap of belief that you cant do it, then you know you have acomplished something great.

http://youtu.be/QGJuMBdaqIw

Take Care,
Megs x

Weigh in day......

It rolls around, doesn't ask if you're ready or if you want a couple more hours to prepare. This week I didnt lose again, thats two weeks without a kg loss. I have printed off some articles on plateau's, hopefully there will be some inspiration in there. I did however lose cm's. I think I mentioned I am not tracking cm's weekly anymore, I am doing it every 2-4 weeks. Well it has been 3 weeks since I last tracked and I am happy to say I lost another 13cm, taking my total cm loss to 98cm!!!
Now that feels pretty A-Mah-Zing.

New stats:

Sw: 121.3
Cw: 102.2
Ltw: 0
Ltd: 19.1
mini goal: 100
overall goal: 80

I have given myself two weeks to reach 100kgs, thats 1.1kgs a week and dammit I am going to do it. I NEED to do it. So thats my plan.

Take Care,
Megs x

A new PB.

I just love PB's. They bring a fresh and vibrant prospective of how awesome the body really is. Today I decided to do a treadmill run, in the afternoon, instead of my run this morning. Well, I did 5km in 39 minutes, 4.5minutes quicker than my last 5k on Tuesday and into the time bracket I am aiming for, for the Townsville 5k.

It was hard. I really had to flog my poor legs and they werent particuarly appreciative. I sweated and grunted but I got there. And it felt good. I feel like I have pushed through a new barrier. Last month I was flat, uninspired and just doing what I knew I had to do to maintain my weight loss. This month I feel like I am ready to give it my all again. Starting with a PT sesh tomorrow morning :)

Night all,
megs xx

Back on the wagon..

I was away at the begining of the week and ate ALOT of pasta. A spinach, pumpkin and ricotta ravioli in camembert sauce. You can just imagine it. It was delicious, but far to much. To top it off I was sitting on my butt for three days straight. I managed a 5k treadmill run on Tuesday afternoon, but mostly I was doing alot of butt sitting.

When I got home on Wednesday night I really felt flat. Thursday was a bust and Friday I was working. On top of that I got my periods. I decided to book in to see my PT friend E and get my booty back into it. I havent been doing my PT sessions, more running, but I think I need more of a balance between the two. This morning S and I took the dogs for a walk, we tackled the middlemount hill which is a 1k incline of torture. It was a great walk, 6kms in total once we walked to the hill, up the hill and then home. The doggies really enjoyed it. Then tonight I saw E and we focused on upper body weights. Was nice to see I havent really lost shape despite not doing as many weights.

Tomorrow I plan to do a small 5k run and then I am heading out for dinner, but I am going to be a bit more concious in what I am eating. No weigh in this week because of my periods - they tend to muck up what my actual loss is.

Night all,
Megs x

What a run....

After my very impressive hissy fit on Thursday afternoon where I swore I would never run again, I balked and headed out this morning. I went prepared though, I had taken Buscopan (anti spasmodic) and magnesium the night before and in the morning and I made sure I had three glasses of water before I left the house. I didnt have breakfast, I just had one strawberry to ward off any hunger pangs. I also made sure I took a bottle of water in my bum bag and a phone and S promised he would have the phone near him in case I needed him urgently.

Well after all of that, I had a blissful run. I went out at around 7.45am, the sun was shining and there was a cool breeze in the air. It started off great, I just felt this easy while running and felt happy and comfortable as I was going. I didnt feel like I was exerting myself too much. I basically did a full lap of town, which in total was around 7kms and I did it in 1hr and 3mins, an improvement of my 6.5km time of 1hr and 1min. There were lots of birds out, especially ducks and some kangaroos and people walking their dogs. It was just a happy morning. My average pace was 9minutes a km, which isnt my fastest but on a long run I am looking at distance rather than speed. I just felt like I was on this incredible high after it and it really reinforced how much I love running. Its not about telling myself I can do it, or pushing my body. Its the freedom of running, the way in which your body glides and moves and you're out in the open with nothing but space and the pounding of your own feet (although I do listen to music). You pass people and smile and nod and you just keep going. Its a really pleasant feeling.

I had to go to Rockhampton this afternoon for three nights (three and half hour drive from my place) but I will be back home and hopefully try a 5k on Thursday morning. If not, then I am def heading out for another long sunday run. You know, I almost didnt go either, now I am so glad I did :-)
Take Care,
Megs x

I quit running last night...

I had a terrible run yesterday afternoon. I went out around 4pm and it started off poorly, I felt it was really hard to breathe and my lungs were burning. Then about 1-1.5kms into my 5k I got the WORST stomach cramp of my life. I needed a bathroom STAT. And I mean STAT. So here I am standing on the footpath, at least 4kms from home and I had no way of getting home quickly. So I did the most embarassing thing of my life, I went and knocked on a strangers door - I explained that I felt sick and needed a bathroom and that I was so sorry but could they help. This poor person is now my hero, because they obliged even though they must have felt more severly awkward than I did. So after this, I gave them my most sincerest thanks and off I went. Except about another k later I needed to go again, not as urgent and thankfully I was near a public toilet this time, but again I had to stop and wait. After I had been to the bathroom a second time, I felt drained. I was obviously considerably dehydrated by this stage and mortified. I was cursing S because at one stage I asked to borrow a shop keepers phone so I could ring him and he could come and get me but of course he wasn't answering - I thought of all the mean things I was going to say to him when I got home. I walked for the next 500/600m's, opting to take a shorter route home. Then I ran the last km. It was a very slow shuffle and would have taken me around 10 minutes, but I kept saying to myself, well this is when you would normally give up - the old you would have had enough and walked home, head hung in shame. I made it home without another urgent bathroom trip, but I stormed through the house slamming doors. I told S he was a jerk and never there when I needed him (very untrue) and I yelled that I was giving up running. Clearly my body is rejecting it and I was done. I kicked my beautiful new running shoes across the room. I went to bed at 7.30pm, miserable and sad after comforting eating four profitoe rolls and packet of chips and fell into a massive sleep.
This morning I woke up and things seemed a little brighter. I decided to do some research on why it happens and maybe what I can do to prevent it. I found this really useful website.
http://www.pponline.co.uk/encyc/exercise-induced-diarrhoea-391
I looked at a few other websites and they all seem to say the same thing. When I read over it, the two times I have had this issue (I have had it once before, but managed to make it to a public toilet) I was running in the afternoon, I had eaten all my normal meals that day (which included some dairy/lactose products), I had some sort of caffine and it had been about 2-2.5hrs since I ate. So it looks like I will become an early morning runner, I said to S today (once I had calmed down and apologised) that I thought maybe it was because I had a full stomach and it jiggled it out, which according to what I have read, thats not such a far fetched idea. I mean, they said it a bit more technically but the theory is the same. So, on Sunday when I try again, I am heading out in the morning, after I have drunk two glasses of water and will see how I go. I am taking my phone with me this time though and told S he better be near his to answer otherwise he is going to be very sorry :-)

On other news, not bowel related. I lost 900gms this week.

New Stats:
Sw: 121.3
Cw: 102.2
Ltw:-0.9
Ltd: 19.1
mini goal: 100
Overall goal: 80

Pretty exciting to be 900gms away from a 20kg loss. I also lost 5cms, taking my total cm loss to 91cm since the 5th Feb :-)

Best head to bed, was up at 4.30am for work and I am beat. Take Care,
Megs xx

The Big C..

Cancer. Everyday this beast takes far too many lives. Every one of us has been affected by cancer in some way - be it ourselves, a friend or loved one. And this must stop. Two wonderful women I know are trying to raise funds to go into cancer research, in their own unique way.

Kath (who also has her own blog - http://courage2start.blogspot.com/ ) is participating in the Gold Coast Airport marathon - doing the 10k run I believe. Please, please help out a fellow runner :-)

http://www.everydayhero.com.au/katharine_jones

Also, Debbie - a dear friend of mine is participating in relay for life.

http://qld.cancercouncilfundraising.org.au/personalPage.aspx?registrationID=346516&langPref=en-CA

Please remember that all donations over $2 are tax deductible. So even if you only have $5 to spare, it all goes to a very worthwhile cause. Lets beat this beast together and help support those who have been such a huge inspiration and support to me.

Take Care,
Megs x

Where does sick fit in?

I am sick. Its a head cold, so nothing too dramatic, but I am not a very good patient. Part of being a nurse I spose, you tend to be a healer not wanting to be healed. Luckily S is looking after me very well, I have been given ice cream and lemonade and lots of cuddles. Even though I really am very, very annoying and apparenty snoring very loud.

So where does fitness creep in when you're sick. For me it doesn't. When the worst hits my theory is that you buckle down the hatches, enjoy your time warm in bed and with the TV and ride out the worst of it. When you can walk without feeling like you're dying then you go to the gym and do some light weights, when you can breathe again you try a bit of cardio and then when you're ready it will be all waiting like you never left. Atm I am in the bed phase, I have a temp, a cough, a blocked nose and am very, very tired and achey. Who knows what tomorrow will bring however. I know some people try and push through it, but I am of the firm belief that if you give your body a couple of days of TLC then you will heal quicker and therefore be able to train harder sooner. Although it is hard. Tonight S and I drove to the dump to drop off some garden mess (I had to get out of the house) and I saw people out jogging and I was so jealous.

On other news, I had my weigh in post holidays. I put on 300gms which is a god damm miracle. I really thought it was going to be more.

New stats:

Sw: 121.3
Cw: 103.1
ltw: +.03
ltd: -18.2
mini goal: 100
Overall goal: 80

I am back up into the 103's, which is annoying. It feels like I have sat around this mark for weeks now, but thats the choices I have made so no point complaining about it. Hopefully next time I report in Ill have moved to the second part of my recovery - the light weights phase.

Night all,
Megs x

I did weigh in..

From all my excitment of comming home for a holiday and running around and seeing everyone, I forgot to log on and update my stats. I did have a weigh in, because I am indecisive I decided to move it back to Saturday, thats S's weigh in day as well, so I decided to suck it up.

I lost 200gms this week. Not much and to be honest I am not surprised. The last few weeks my heart hasn't so much been in losing weight, but rather upping my fitness.

New stats:
Sw: 121.3
Cw: 102.8
Ltw: -0.2
Ltd: -18.5
mini goal: 100
overall goal: 80

I am inching closer to the 100kg mark and I wonder if I am psyching myself out a little. I have been obese for so long, it takes a certain amount of mental energy to accept that you're not the person you were before and come to accept the person you are now - no matter what you're trying to achieve. I don't anticipate this week to be much better, because I am on holidays and I have been far more relaxed in my eating but I know when I get home I am going to really need to sit down and evaluate my thinking again, perhaps even put up some positive affirmations and posters around the house - take some pressure off the internal monologe of mine for a while.

Best be off,
Take Care,
Megs xx

What made me fat?

The prone position...

Or as most people will know it by "the plank".

The longest plank I have been able to do is 60 seconds. Tonight I went to a circuit class, we did 7 exercises all up, 30 seconds per exercise then 60 seconds then 90 seconds then back to 30 seconds. I did and held the plank for the full time each time it rolled around within those 7 exercises. I do believe in the 90 second hold position I was grunting, and sweating and possibly making some disturbing faces but I held the sucker and now my arms hurt, my abs feel tight and I am dead asleep on my feet - but I got a smile on my face baby :-)

Take Care,
Megs x

Time to stop and take stock..

I am officially half walf in my weight loss. 18.3kgs are gone and I have 18kgs left. I have been thinking alot about this today and a message from a friend really got me thinking? I originally set my goal weight at 90kgs, it would have put me just under the obese catergory and then I thought, no I want to be well and truly under a BMI of 30 so I decided to drop it to 85kgs - now I am wondering.

I have decided to adjust my goal once again - this time to 80kgs. It was take my BMI to around 27.5 which is still in the overweight range but I feel like this would be a good result for me. I have a letter sitting in my drawer, its for me when I reached a weight I had picked - I originally thought it was 85kgs but I got it out this afternoon and I realised it was 80kgs. That letter has been sitting there for 18months, unopened. There is no way on this earth its going to stay like that :-)

Take Care,
Megs x

The best of you..

Something I have noticed when I train is it really brings out the best in you. I was having a very lazy day today, exams are over and I literally did sweet f all - oh except for take the dogs for a walk and play with them. I slept in till 9am, didnt have a shower till 10.30am and just plodded around the house. It was great. Then tonight I decided to hit a circuit class, I had no itention of particualy pushing myself, it was more just to keep up my promise for the holidays which was that I had to do two forms of exercise a day, for six days. Holidays really are my best guilt free exercise time.

Well, in I go. And then its on. We had weights after weights, focusing mainly on upper body. We did pistol punches where you punch above your shoulder with weights, then we layed on one of those half ball boards and did the same movement lying down while pushing our pelvis up, then there was ab crunches, there was seated rows on a ball, punching bag punches except we used handweights as the resistance, skipping, a exercise where you had to sit your knees on a bench, bend forward and touch the ground and then push yourself up and down (kinda like a handstand), then there was side crunches with a medicine ball, then push ups, then the plank and finally to wrap it all up there was a squat with a kettle bell then you had to pull it up to your chest and then squat again. Phew, I am tired just writing about it all. It went 50 second sets, 45 seconds and then 30 seconds. We had the option to stop after round one and two, but I decided I really did have another set in me so I did the three. My arms are feeling it, so I am sure I am going to be feeling it tomorrow.

What I loved about it all was how my body just kept going. I didnt stop, I probably made some seriously unattractive faces but I just kept pushing. Thats the thing about the best of each of us, when it comes down to it, we have that inner strength. We can do it. While we were going, the PT and my friend E said "keep going, its not your body saying you can't do it, its your mind". And its so true. So many times we hold back because we think, well no I cant do that. Its actually one of the reasons that when i run I dont set a certain distance I want to go, I just start jogging and as I am going I make a new path and then at the end see how far I have gone. I know if I say, well tomorrow I am going to do 6k, my mind will wake up with me being sore, or tired, or lazy. Sometimes you just have to get out there and keep going until someone says you can stop - then you realise just how far you have come :-)

Take care,
Megs x

Another day..

I was having a pretty flat weekend this weekend. I didnt really feel up to exercising much, I was more wandering around the house studying and eating. I felt pretty disgusting, so this afternoon I decided I needed to get out before I started to go insane. I have found that I need to exercise, in some form, everyday. There is very rarely a day where I dont feel like doing something, be it walk the dogs, hit the gym, go for a run, play a game of tennis. S and I were nitpicking at each other as well, so I said Ill go to the gym and you take the dogs for a walk and when we come back, no more bickering. And it worked.

I decided to jump on the treaddy and do some speed work, I jogged for 20 minutes at 8mins per km - thats a nice increase for me. At my best I have done 8.15-8.30mins/km and I can usually only maintain it for around a km and then I manage to psych myself out a little. Well this time I managed to do 2.5kms and then I slowed down to around 9mins a km and increased the elevation and simulated the last 0.5kms going up a hill. Not sure which was harder to be honest :-) All up I only did 3kms, but I wasnt looking for a long run today - more just something to keep my form and not let me slack off too much. On Tuesday once I am offically on uni holidays I am going to do a 5km run and see how my time is going and then probably on thursday I am going to try and do another long run. I go away on Saturday for a week and I am not sure how much running I am going to get in, so I am going to try and fit in a little more this week.

Ahhh, exam tomorrow so more study to do.
Megs x

A new weigh in day...

I have decided to shift my weigh in day to Fridays. Mainly because S and I like to go out for dinner on a Friday night and I dont want to have to worry so much about being bloated for my weigh in the next day. Probably a bit of a catch 22, I may overindulge, but it also allows me to have a glass of wine of two and not worry. So I did my weigh in today and I lost 400gms in the six days since my last weigh in. Not spectacular, but still a loss is significantly better than gaining. Its womanly time here, so I am retaining water like a camel which I know factors in, but as I am typing this I am wondering why I am making excuses about losing 400gms. I am HAPPY, its all adding up and regardless of any extrinsic factors I am losing weight which is a good thing. I also lost 3.5cm taking my total loss to 87cm; getting closer and closer to that 100cm/1m mark.

New Stats:
Sw: 121.3
Cw: 103
Ltw: -0.4
Ltd: 18.3
mini goal: 100kgs
overall goal: 85kgs

Its nice to have cracked the 18kg mark, and moving up to an 18.3kgs loss has seen me move halfway to my overall goal. I have exactly 18kgs left to reach 85kgs. I am optimistic that it will happen this year, but if it doesn't, then I will continue on until it does. No running been happening my way, actually not much of any exercise the last two days except walking the dogs. In my long run on Wednesday I put a little too much pressure on my left calf so I have been letting it rest, it is almost completely pain free now, so I am having a small gym session tomorrow doing weights and then I am going to head out with the aim to do 5kms on Sunday morning.

Tomorrow I am heading out to see if I can find some compression tights. There is a mixed consensus about the use of them, but this blog post here http://runtrails.blogspot.com/2009/06/compression-tights-and-clothing-worth.html gives an excellent discription of their use and the different kinds. I am leaning towards ones with knee support, I have noticed as my distances have increased, so has some slight tenderness in my knees, nothing spectacular and I suspect that its attributed to a) the extra weight I am carrying (although trying very hard to get rid of) and b) running form, including weaker muscles surrounding my knee and ankle joints which I need to start addressing with weights training. I thought about a knee gaurd, but from what I can gather, the tights reduce inflammation (reduction in circulation of blood in these areas from the compression) and can ease muscle cramps - so a little more extensive than just a plain knee gaurd.

I am also in discussions with Dh about new shoes, I just dont feel like I am getting the support from my joggers that I should. I have both asics and nike and neither are doing it for me. The nike feels too constricted when I run and the asics dont feel like they have enough pronate support. We shall see, I dont know what I want which makes it harder to argue my case. :-)

Everyone else is sleeping, so I should probably hit the hay as well,
Take Care,
Megs x

Exams make me absent...

The stress and time consuming nature of exams makes my blog a distant memory sometimes. I have managed to incorporate exercise into my week still, making two very important personal bests as well. But firstly my weigh in stats - I lost 700gms on my weigh in Sat, taking my total loss to 17.9kgs. I also lost some cm's, 4.5 I think it was - took my total cm loss to 83.5cm.

New Stats:

Sw: 121.3
Cw: 103.4
Ltw: -0.7
Ltd: 17.9kgs
mini goal: 100kgs
Overall goal: 85kgs

S and I had a competition on the weekend as well. We mapped a route that turned out to be 5.2kms and then I jogged it and he sprinted/walked it. It took S 37minutes and it took me 44minutes. He was already in the shower by the time I got home LOL. But I did make a personal best, my 5k time was 42.35minutes which is a bit over two minutes shaved off my time. My goal to do the Townsville 5k in 35-40minutes is looking like a real possibility.

I also went for a jog yesterday afternoon, I had spent the whole day sitting on my ass studying and bank appointments and I was going crazy, so I headed out mid afternoon to let off some steam. There was a new route that I wanted to try which turned out to be 6.5km and I jogged it straight. It took me an hour and one minute but I finished. I didnt feel too bad at the end except for some tightness in my left calf but I think thats because I had favoured it the night before at a circuit class I went to and it was feeling a bit precious. I bought myself a new braclet to celebrate the distance :-)

A lady I have got to know shared a picture on FB that really resonates with me. This wonderful lady has lost 47kgs though a healthy lifestyle and exercise and I find her a huge inspiration! She has a great outlook on life, very similar to what I am trying to achieve! (Tee hee, shout out L).

Back to study, Take Care...

Megs x



A new personal best...

I had a remedial massage this morning; it was meant to work out the kinks and it was really good. The therapist was awesome and really comprehensive and knew his stuff. I am a little sore now, which is normal after a heavy massage but I feel much better overall, especially mentally. I felt so good I went for a jog tonight, I went 5.8kms in 52 minutes. I couldn't believe it. The only issue I had was some digestive problems *ahem* towards the end which had my increase my pace pretty good. I am not sure why it happens, but I am going to have to investigate it a little further because this isn't the first time it has happened.

I am quite tired now, even though I had a nap before my run. I think it will be an early night for me.

Take care,
Megs x

My moment..

I have commited. Not been comitted, but commited to completing my first competition run. I am partcipating in the townsville running festival and I will be doing the 5k run. It says its a fun run/walk, but there wont be any walking from me - unless I break something and then it might be a crawl. I was so excited. I conteplated entering for the 10k run, but its on August 7th which is a around 10 weeks from now and I know that whilst I may get to the 10k's in that time, I may not be running at a pace I would be happy to compete with. Also, when you have competition runs planned you have to do something called tapering. Basically this means in the 2-4weeks pre run you need to reduce the amount you run to conserve energy and reduce the likelihood of injuries and strain occuring in this time. It sounds weird right? I mean you would almost expect this to be the most cruicial part of training, the preparation but in fact its probably around the time where you will run the least.

I headed to the gym this morning - decided I wanted to do some speed work so I went and streched my piraformus out on the foam roller and then I did 20 minutes on the treadmill trying different speeds and inclines. Basically I did 30seconds at 9, then had a 30 sec rest, then I did 1 minute at incline six and speed 6.5 simulating running up a hill then I would have a minute rest and start again. I have to say the hill work really got my heart rate up which was great :-) I then did some weights, some lunges, medicine ball slams (which are a great stress relief although make alot of noise on the concrete gym floor tee hee) and some crunches. I then topped it off with some time on the bike. I burnt 440 calories in 60 minutes which isnt too bad. In terms of calorie burning, I find that running gives me the most success. Its unusual for me to do a run that burns less than 520 calories.

I might be a bit quiet over the next week. I have exams comming up. only two but two pretty intense exams. Although it may be a nice distraction (or procrastination) to spend some time blogging!
Take Care,
Megs x

Motivation and the like..

I was having a bit of a blah day today. After my really good weekend and my excellent run on Sunday I was just feeling a little flat (back to reality blues shall we say). I took the dogs for a walk in the morning and then I planned on going to do hill runs or a circuit class tonight but really had little motivation to do so. Instead I spent the afternoon watching TV and avoiding studying like the plague! While I was sitting all comfy like on the lounge I was reading Dean K's book and it mentioned motivation. Basically he was talking about how some days he doesn;t want to do a long run, or it seems impossible to overcome fatigue and get out there but he reminds himself about that feeling that you get afterwards - its that pure rush of endorphins and the happiness at acomplishing something and pushing your body like that. So, instead of remaining where I was I grabbed a protein shake and decided to jog out a new route.

It was quite a nice run, lots of shade and well kept paths. I kept my pace even (I have a tendency at the moment to go hard at the begining in the hope to increase my overall time but it doesn't work like that because basically you end up getting fatigued and having to slow right down at the end which drags your time back down) and I jogged out how I was feeling. While I was out there I thought of the different changes you experience in just one jog. In the first 500m's I get breathless, I get the lung burning sensation while I try and adjust my breathing - essentially I am looking for four counts in and then four counts out. Some people say in through your nose, out through your mouth but I am more of a mouth breather when I run. Once I settle into a breathing routine I feel better and then around 3kms I start to get a bit more fatigued, my legs get that heavy feeling and I start to make a more concentrated effort to run. I start to think about what my body is doing here because when you start to fatigue, you start to lose your form and are more likely to injure yourself. At around 4.5kms my legs feel like lead, I start to really concentrate on lifting my feet, I am using feeling the burn by now usually in my shins and piraformus which is still giving me trouble. When I stop I get the weirdest sensation, it feels like my legs go limp for a minute and in this time its important to keep walking around to give them a chance to bounce back.

I am glad I went out and having a jog around. Because of the on and off discomfort I have been getting, especially my shins, piraformus and my left ankle I went and jumped into a cold bath (absolutely awesome on a cold evening - NOT) and sat in there for about 10 minutes, then i went and had a hot shower and rubbed deep heat onto all the parts I use when I run, but especially the sore bits. I am feeling pretty good now. Oh I also have a few cups of water, make sure dinner is eaten within the hour (or at least some sort of snack with some protein and carbs) and then take my magnesium which helps with muscle repair.

Now, I am off to lie in bed and read my book. I am sleeeeeeepy!!!
Take Care,
Megs x

A weekend of indulgence...

The tank was empty, both my physical and mental tanks. I have had a full on two months with uni, placement and a new job - plus the usual going's on of being married etc. I felt like my whole body had been drained and I was just walking around doing the things that I had to do. I still went to the gym, because I KNEW I had to, I still hit my amazing 5k mark because I knew it was important to me but neither exercise or running held the same appeal, I did it because not doing it was worse than using up whatever energy I had left in the tanks.

It is literally the worst feeling I know, sinking into depression and lethargy, where my mind takes a front seat to my physical needs and drains the life out of me. I went to the Dr, I needed help - he has changed my medication but I cant make the switch until after my exams in 13 days because it will be hard on me - part and parcel of letting these chemicals into my body, although they have been invaluable for my overall wellbeing. So S decided that we needed to spend the night away. We went to Mackay and spent the night at the Clarion on the Marina. It was a no guilts weekend, we could eat what we wanted, drink what we wanted and do whatever the hell we wanted. Exercise wasn't in the equation, our bodies needed to rest. We needed to spend time looking outside whatever little sphere we had delved into and try and break out of it.

On Saturday we went and saw pirates of the carribean, was great. We did some shopping and I was happy to buy a pair of size 18 Millers jeans which fit well and made me realise how far I had come (only just fit into size 24's at the begining of the year). I also told S I wanted a book about running, I love reading about running and wanted to hear more stories of how other runners do it. Then I came across Dean Karnazes book - 50 marathons, 50 Days. He is an ultramarathon runner, its incredible - his idea was quite simple (and in the title) he wanted to run a marathon a day for 50 days, it was a huge undertaking and must have pushed his body to the absolute limits but he made a commitment and his team and sponsors made a commitment to him and he honoured it. Although he is an ultramarathon runner, his book really does target all levels - inbetween the pages are running advice for everyone and it was just what I needed. Running isn't "fun" as he says, exercise isnt a ball of laughs rolling on the ground say like playing your favourite computer game or watching your favourite TV show, its more about the mental side of life - making commitments and goals, challenging yourself, understanding your body, nutrition, healthier living. His words encompass everything I am trying to achieve. I would be lying to you all if I said I loved what I do everyday, I simply dont. I had a PT sesh at the gym on Friday and from the minute I made the appointment with friend and trainer E I didnt want to go - I simply wasnt in the mood. I was tired, drained and irritable. BUT I went, because its important to push myself, to say well right now you arent seeing the benefits of getting off your ass because there seems to be so many roadblocks telling you not too, but its not an option to not go. I made the commitment and I need to honour it. In his goal Dean speaks of wanting to stop, he isnt superman - it would have been brutal. A marathon is around 42.5kms, can you imagine that every day for 50 days straight, not to mention the press and other commitments he had and being away from family. But he did it, because he had a long term goal and it was important to honour that.

So I had my weekend away, but it wasnt so much the drinking Moet Champers, or the delicious vegetable risotto, or even the snickers cheesecake that made me feel like me again (that stubborn as an ass, must do it if you cannot tell me I can) but that someone ignited in me what I had long ago discovered, I am determined, I will succeed. There is nothing wrong with stopping and saying, what am I doing? Where the hell am I? The journey isnt linear, its ass about and I am going to be in all sorts of challenging positions but at the end of the day, I am going to grit my teeth, get off the lounge, put down the chocolate and get on with it.

Take Care,
Megs x

What does today mean to you?

Is it a good day? A bad day? Or is there, like always, room for improvement?

Today is going down as a good day for me. On the 19th May 2011 I jogged 5.1kms in 45 minutes. I made it. Oh the urge to vomit was pretty strong at the end and my legs felt like they were going to fall off and I had to mentally kick my ass for the last 2kms, but I did it. Little old me! Who couldn't run more than 200m in the begining, just ran 5.1kms!!

Today I feel:

- Awesome.
- Empowered.
- Motivated.
- Sore (in a good way)

Today is MY DAY!

Take care,
Megs x

Morning, morning!

I got up at 7am on this beautiful Sunday morning and hit the pavement! Was a great morning for a jog, there was a breeze and now its getting cooler I was able to jog without feeling overwhelmed by the heat.

This morning I went 4.7kms in 40 minutes. I am so stoked. I decided to take a different route this morning and was happy when I stopped at my front door to realise how far I had jogged. I always find the first km to be the toughest and at around the 200/400m mark I wanted to stop, I thought nah I am not doing this, this morning. But instead I gave myself a mental head slap and a bit of a grunt and kept going. During the last km I knew I was starting to get a little tired, but I knew I just had to keep going! I could smell home and I was determined to make it to my front door - I dropped my pace a little to help get me through it and by george I was happy to see our car and then our house in the distance :-) But it was more a happiness that I had gotten so far! My av. pace was 9min a km, which is okay!

I have decided that I am defintely going to do the Townsville 5km fun run, and then hopefully I am still going to be able to do the central coast 10k run in November. The 5k run is in 12 weeks exactly, so time to start working on improving my pace and just get to that magic 5km mark, which I now know is so very possible.

I also wanted to share with you all a current photo which I am very proud of!

It was taken last night before I went out to dinner. Am very happy to see I have quite a cute little waist happening now LOL.

Take Care,
Megs xx

Weigh in Day..

Today is weigh in day :-)

Lost 0.8 this week, and 5.5cm! Pretty happy with that.

Stats:

Sw: 121.3
Cw: 103.9
Ltw: 0.8
Ltd: 17.4
Mini goal: 100
Overall goal: 85

Cm loss in total is 73.5cm! Wheeeeeeee!

Take Care,
Megs x

Overcomming an injury...

One of the hardest challenges I have had since starting this journey has learning to rest when I have injured myself.

I blogged about my piraformus injury which has seen me sidelined from jogging for six weeks. It was hard, especially when I felt like I just *needed to* go jogging. I was still able to exercise, but not jog which was really quite devestating. Well after seeing the physio, doing my exercises and being a good girl (mostly, I may have done the occasional 1km to keep my form) I went for my first proper road jog this morning. I went 3.7kms in 35 minutes. I had a route planned and wanted to see how many Km's it was all up, was actually shorter than I had prepared myself for, so on Sunday when I go again I am going to extend it out a little further and that should help me hit the 4k mark.

I am also going to go to bootcamp on Saturday morning. S and I really enjoyed that (as much as you can enjoy sweating your ass off at 8am on a Saturday morning). It will be our second one! I love how much time has changed S and I. Before, our ritual on a Sat morning was to walk down to the local cafe, have a breakfast which comprised of french toast, ice cream and chocolate syrup - now our mornings together are based around exercise and we make a nice breakfast when we get home. Like scrambled eggs on toast or low fat pancakes, all half the size of that single breakfast!

Take care,
Megs

Where have I been?

Looking back over my blog I came to realise that I have been MIA for a month. I have to say, working, prac and uni left me little time to come back and update on my musings. I also look back and can see that my last weigh in written down was 105.2, unfortunately I have only lost another 500gms on top of that amount taking me to 104.7kgs. Hard to believe really in that time I have only lost that much, but I did plateau out for two weeks and this week I had a 500gm gain. However, I do feel alot better now and I am home for good, so I can start to refocus my energy. I am heading home in 5 weeks and I would really, really like to be under 100kgs when I go home.

New stats:
Sw: 121.3
Cw: 104.7
Lost since last updated: 0.5kgs
Ltd: 16.6kgs
mini goal: 100kgs
overall goal: 88kgs.

Cm loss to date is 68cm!!

I have to say, that little pain I had in my leg turned out to be quite serious. I compressed my piraformus muscle which in turn has pinched a nerve. I have been battling with it for a month now, but finally went to the physio and hopefully I am on the mend.
In order to feel like I am back on the wagon (training the mind = training the body) I went to boot camp this morning. Was an intense 45 minutes and I was limited because I am not allowed to jog atm but the instructor and friend E gave me some alternatives to do so I still got a good workout. I did lunges with weights, medicine ball slams, held a weight plate above my head and walked around the basket ball court, lifted a tyre (with the help of S), did side squats, and two other leg exercises which are hard to explain. I had to do the circuit twice.
I am getting sick atm, can feel it in my bones LOL but hopefully a days rest will see me back on track. I am a determined woman!

Take Care,
Megs xx

Weigh in...

On Saturday I had my weigh in and am happy to report a loss of 2kgs. I usually have a bigger than normal weight loss post my periods, but I have to say I am still pretty stoked with 2kgs :-)

New Stats:

Sw: 121.3kgs
Cw: 105.2kgs
Ltw: 2kgs
Ltd: 16.1kgs
mini goal: 100kgs
Overall goal: 88kgs

I also lost 3cm taking my total cm loss to 55.5cm. Its hard to believe really, that I am closer to 100kgs than I am to my starting weight. I still feel like I have a long way to go, but 16.1kgs is a great start so I am determined to just keep taking it one day at a time.

I also hit a personal best at the gym. I jogged on the treadmill for 40minutes straight and went 4.5kms. I didnt walk at all, which is insane! I want to compete in a 5km fun run/walk in August and I have to say that its a real possibility now! Some days I just marvel at what my body can do. I did pinch something in my leg however, in my thigh to be exact so I'll have to rest it for a couple of days and try again later in the week :-)

Take Care,
megs x

Weigh in and musings..

Well yesterday was weigh in day. I stayed the same. TBH it was a combination of two things, that really overlap. I got my periods and I had been craving carbs and sweet food in the two days prior and I caved. So I stayed the same which is much better than last time I had my periods and I put on 1.3kgs. I did lose another 8cms as well taking my total cm loss to 52cm which is pretty amazing because I have now lost half a metre in 8 weeks : - )

New Stats:

Sw: 121.3
Cw: 107.2
Ltw: 0
Ltd: 14.1
mini goal: 100
Overall goal: 88
Cm lost this week: 8cm
Cm loss to date: 52cm.

I also hit a goal this week. On Friday I went to a Lorna Jane shop. I often go in to browse (and dream). I was looking through the inspirational shirts and could only see size L on the rack, which I know wouldnt fit. So I am wandering along and then I reached the end of the rack and there it was, a size XL. It was the only one left and I grabbed it gingerly, not sure if I should try it on. I looked at S and knew I had to, so I went into the changeroom and slipped it on and you wouldnt bloody believe it but it fit!!! I nearly cried, right there. Its such a small thing but to be able to walk into a store and not just any store but a store developed for atheletic women and be able to put on one of their shirts and have it fit. One thing you may not know about me is that I love pink, so the only shirt I found on the rack of inspiration shirts that would fit me looked and said this:

Classic, Take care,

Megs xx

What a workout!

I hit the gym this evening and was very impressed with my efforts.

I did interval jogging for 1km (2min jogging/2min walking) and then I did 1km of non stop jogging. I then hoped on the weights machines and did a variety of different arm weights and finished it off with some ab workouts.

All up the workout went for 60 minutes and I burnt 455 calories which I am really happy with. I had my weigh in for the Michelle Bridges program as well. I have lost 800gms (so 400gms lost since sats weigh in) taking my total loss for the program to 4.4kgs in six weeks. I am fairly happy with that. Not sure if I will make my goal of hitting 100kgs in the 12 weeks but I will come very close, and you cannot be disappointed with that.

Take Care,
Megs xx

I wanted to add this song by singer Pink because I really do think its awesome :)

Videoclip:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s4Rax2PXiWA

Lyrics:

Made a wrong turn
Once or twice
Dug my way out
Blood and fire
Bad decisions
That's alright
Welcome to my silly life
Mistreated, misplaced, missundaztood
Miss "no way it's all good"
It didn't slow me down
Mistaken
Always second guessing
Underestimated
Look, I'm still around...

Pretty, pretty please
Don't you ever, ever feel
Like your less than
Fuckin' perfect
Pretty, pretty please
If you ever, ever feel
Like your nothing
You're fuckin' perfect to me

You're so mean
When you talk
About yourself
You are wrong
Change the voices
In your head
Make them like you
Instead
So complicated
Look how big you'll make it
Filled with so much hatred
Such a tired game
It's enough
I've done all I can think of
Chased down all my demons
See you same

Pretty, pretty please
Don't you ever, ever feel
Like your less than
Fuckin' perfect
Pretty, pretty please
If you ever, ever feel
Like your nothing

You're fuckin' perfect to me
The world stares while I swallow the fear
The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer
So cool in lying and I tried tried
But we try too hard, it's a waste of my time
Done looking for the critics, cuz they're everywhere
They don't like my genes, they don't get my hair
Stringe ourselves and we do it all the time
Why do we do that?
Why do I do that?
Why do I do that?

Ooh, pretty pretty pretty,
Pretty pretty please don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less then, fuckin' perfect
Pretty pretty please if you ever ever feel
Like you're nothing you're fuckin' perfect, to me
You're perfect
You're perfect
Pretty, pretty please don't you ever ever feel like you're less then, fucking perfect
Pretty, pretty please if you ever ever feel like you're nothing you're fucking perfect to me

Weigh in...

Hi all,

Ive been a bit slack in posting this week. I was away from Mon-Thurs and working on Fri so havent really had a chance to sit down and write a good post. I got sick last Sunday, I managed to pick up a head cold. It put exercising on the back burner on Monday and on tuesday I tried jogging but that didnt go well so I ended up swapping over to weights. Wednesday I went to a street defence class which was fun and thurs/fri I was so physically exhausted from uni and work I didnt do anything.

I am happy to report however that I lost 1.3kgs. I attribute that to trying to make good food choices despite not being able to exercise properly and the little bit of incidential exercise I squeezed in. I didnt lose many cms - 1.5 in total taking my total loss for cm's to 44 exactly. I actually put 2cm's back on my hips this week which was a bit devestating but not the end of the world.

New Stats:
Sw: 121.3
Cw: 107.2
Ltw: 1.3
Ltd: 14.1
Mini goal: 100
Overall goal: 90

I cant tell you how good it feels to crack 14kgs. Its the most I have ever lost, I am hoping to reach 15kgs this week, but I am going to eat well and exercise when I can and not place unrealistic expectations on myself. Its about being healthy overall, not the immediate numbers.

I also completed week three, day three of the couch to 10k. I made a PB as well. I basically went 2.34kms in total with my jogging intervals, last time I went 2kms and I also went 5.97kms overall, up from 5kms last time. So obviously my pace is improving which I am happy with. Although I did have a mild hiccup in the middle with a awful stomach cramp but I had a small break and then started again. I was determined to finish!

Well thats all for tonight, sorry for my absence!
Take Care,
Megs xx