It's small achievements in the face of adversity, knowing you could have given in, but making that concious choice not to.
For me, this was yesterday. I had a rough day, emotional and draining. I wanted to get out of the house, I wanted to do anything other than sit on the lounge and watch DVD's and make poor food choices. I want freedom from my mind. And what better way to achieve this than to move, move the body - you force the mind to think about something else. I went to the gym, on my training program I had hills factored in. They help with building leg strength. So for every song I ran on the treaddy, I went up 0.5% incline. By the last song I was at an incline of 3%. I kept my pace steady at 9mins a km for the whole 25mins I was tackling the hills and it felt good. I did 2.7kms in total. The treaddys at the gym time out at 25mins and I was going to jump off and do something else but I felt so good from running that I just started the treaddy again and did another 20mins at 8.30min kms. I did another 20minutes and another 2.4kms, taking my total to 5.1kms. I got off the treadmill and it was like I had cried, like I had allowed myself to grieve completely. But I hadnt, I hadnt droped a tear, I had sweated buckets. But my mind, I gave it what it needed. And it felt cleansed. I made my peace with what was troubling me and I moved on.
In other news I have lost 400gms of the 500gms I had put on over the last few weeks. I keep saying, fingers crossed that the plateau has been broken, but in reality the only one who can change that is me.
I also had a strange moment last night. I was reading about Big W's new plus size line online. And it had been getting some good reviews, so I thought well Ill go online and check it out and maybe buy something. And then I stopped. I dont need to buy plus size anymore. It doesnt apply to me anymore. And I sat back in the chair, speechless.
A song I am loving at the moment: