Thursday, August 25, 2011

New..

I got a new tattoo today. Its to motivate me for my half. I got it on my right calf.


The quote is "Run when you can, walk if you have to, crawl if you must - just never give up". I got it put on my calf so that perhaps when I am running, I can inspire others who may be behind me. To never give up..

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Sometimes you just have to get off the lounge.....

What a day. It was long and I was physically and mentally exhausted by the end of it. So much so that I could barely keep my eyes open when I came home. Being home alone these last two weeks has been hard, I have been trying to keep on top of everything and well, somethings are just slipping through the cracks. This included my exercise. When I had more time I was going to the gym almost every day, I was running, I was walking the dogs. I was enjoying being active. But long days meant that I have just been ready to crawl into bed as soon as I walk in the door. And I dont like it.
Well I came home, heavy with fatigue and I cooked dinner and I layed on the lounge for an hour or so and I played around on the computer. But I was restless. I was tired, I AM tired. Exhausted in fact. But I was restless. I took the doggies for a walk this morning, but I wanted to do more. So, while I was wandering around the house thinking of things I should do, I realised - I wanted to go to the gym. And you know what, I did. I could have thought of a million reasons not to go. I could have talked myself out of it quite easily. Actually as I was putting my clothes on, I almost talked myself out of it. But I perserved and I am so glad I did.
I went and did 10mins on the rower, then I did 25mins of upper body weights which included bar lifts, chest presses, rows while balancing on a medicine ball, the plank, and two different types of ab crunches. I then finished it off with 10mins of a good peddle on the bike. I burnt 380calories in 45mins. It was good. I am more tired than when I left, actually I think I will probably go to bed and pass out, but it was what i needed.
It seems really quite simple. When in doubt, exercise. When you feel it, do it. But its not. Life gets in the way, big time. But sometimes you just have to do it for you. Just get off the lounge, push that little bit more and then come home and resume the horizontal position :-)

Take Care,
Megs x

Monday, August 22, 2011

Our own worst critic....

On Saturday I woke up and felt good, so I decided it would be a perfect morning to get out there and go for a run. I started off a bit sluggish, I hadn't run in a week so my legs took most of the first km just to warm up. Once I hit my stride though it was good, I did a nice loop around town and managed to do 7.2kms in total. I was a bit disappointed when I got home though, my time was 1hr and 4mins. It seemed so SLOW. I mentioned this on a running group online I chat with and they really put it into perspective for me. Especially the lady who said, imagine what it would be like for an elite athlete to carry an extra 30-40kgs around and still perform at a high level. At the end of the day I am still 101kgs, I am not the fastest I can be because I am not the perfect weight for my body. As one lady also pointed out to me, most people cant actually run 7k for the fact that I did it, well thats pretty special.
I think we can get caught up in wanting to be the best or be better than we are and sometimes when you are so focused on that you forget to appreciate how far you have come. At the begining of the year I could barely run 200m's. Now I am training for my first HALF MARATHON. I mean really, how can you compare that. Sometimes you need to take a step back and just appreciate what your body can actually do.
I have this fear of comming last. Its irrational, but I hate the thought of being pitied or laughed at because I was too slow or not good enough. But once I stop and think about it, I am in a group of people that have found a passion for something. And I am running for something that is bigger than me, bigger than my fears. I am running to raise funds and awareness for a wonderful organisation, I am running for those who cant. I am running for my friends, my supporters, my family, my beautiful husband. I am running because I can, because I personally live with mental illness, but most importantly I am running because I CAN.

Take Care,
Megs x

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Its not about being good at it....

I've been blogging quite a bit this week, I must be feeling quite inspired (or its because S has gone away for two weeks and I am bored and dont really want to study).

One thing that has been on my mind and was said to me a few times today as I have been talking about my half marathon. And that is, "wow you must be a good runner". The short answer, no. I am no more spectacular than the average Joe, truth be told I am quite slow with my best 5k time at 39mins10secs. I My technique still needs work and I am still significantly overweight (20-25kgs) which brings down my speed as well. I spose then you can say what I lack in technique and time I make up for in perseverence. When I began running I did short bursts, like everyone I fatigued quite quickly and with the excess weight I was carrying I find it quite tough on my joints. Over time though, you do build up strength. Sprinter always amaze me, my PT/friend E is a sprinter and she can move like nobody's business, its incredible. With distances though, while speed is important, its about training your body to endure the pressure of moving for longer periods of time - its about training your mind to push through the boundary of feeling tired and to find that little extra.

The quickest I have seen someone do a 5k is 20mins, thats 4min splits. The fastest half marathon finisher for the half I am entered in was 1hr 11mins. So there are people out there who can run with the speed and agility of a sprinter but have the endurance for the long distances. There are people that compete to win. But the everyday person shouldnt fear running or entering into races because they arent in the same catergory. There is nothing marvellous about what I love to do, its something that everyone can build up. The BIG thing is, you have to want to. And if you dont, well thats okay as well. Some sports I dont like, sprinting, baseball, softball, golf. What would make me sad however is that if someone didnt run because they werent the fastest or the best and they didnt think they belonged. One thing I love about running is that its for everyone, you run in a group but there is an element of solitude. I remember in my first fun run I got a high five from another runner who was doing the 10k, it was awesome and put the biggest smile on my face. I have heard stories of people who collapsed just short of finishing but other runners gave up their PB's to help another runner finish. You cant buy that kind of mateship.

One day, just get out there and try it. And if you dont like it, well then you know. But dont not try because you think everyone else out there is a good runner. A quote I love by Dean Karnazes I try and remember every time I think I am not good enough to call myself a runner, or I think I wont finish.

"Run when you can, walk if you have to, crawl if you must; just never give up. "   

Take Care,
Megs x

Monday, August 15, 2011

If you're going to do it... then why not do it for someone?

I am an incredibly lucky person. I have had so much encouragement since I started my weight loss journey. I have had lovely messages sent to my with people sharing how much I have inspired them. I have had people sharing their own wonderful stories with me and what they overcame to reach their goals. I have had people believe enough in me to donate their hard earned money towards my goals. There will never be enough words in the world to thank everyone who has every said a kind word along this road I am walking (or running ;-) ) Rest assured though, every day I think of all of you. Every day.

So this morning was day one. Day one post meighans crazy idea. I didnt get to sleep till late last night, I was high on adrenalin ;-P So when my alarm went off at 6am this morning I hit the snooze button, and thought, it cant be that time ALREADY? Well it was, and this morning my goal was to hit the gym and do a leg weight session. It was good, I did squats, I went up from 20kgs to 50kgs and then I did dead lifts at 30kgs. I then did some leg presses and finished it off with sprinting on the bike. It felt good, although I am absolutely knackered now and could probably sleep for a week.

Tomorrow morning I plan on doing a tempo run, with the goal to start working on speed. Sundays I have reserved to work on distance. On wednesday I have another PT session early in the morning and thursday I will probably try an early morning run. Friday is my off day as I get up at 4am to get to work on time, so no real time there.

For now, I can hear the bed calling. My mind is still reeling at what I have signed up for. OH but before I forget, I posted on Dean Karnazes FB wall about my goal and he WROTE BACK. I am in heaven. I *may* have printed it out and its going on the wall under my sign. I even rang S and told him :-D

Take Care,
Megs x

Sunday, August 14, 2011

How do you know if you cannot do it? You try.

A lady I have become friends with online completed her first half marathon today. She is an exceptional runner, I believe she is a natural. My posts lately have been up and down with my motivation, but today while I was thinking of what this particular lady was achieving and how that must feel I got to thinking - completing a half marathon is something *I* want to do, so that led me to think, well what is stopping me? Can I run? yes. Do I enjoy running distances as opposed to short sprints? yes. Do I have enough time to train? yes. Well when you lay your cards out on the table like that there doesnt seem to be a reason why I couldnt do it right?

I then come to realise, the only thing stopping me is me? I kept thinking, half marathon well that is 21.1kms, I mean come on. But then how do I know I cant. I can run, I can run 10k, whats an extra 11k really? The more I thought about it the more it seemed like a totally logical solution and before I knew it I was signing up for my first half marathon. I am going to do it in the central coast half marathon, and to make sure I dont pike out half way through I started a fundraising page and told EVERYONE on FB.

So now the work begins, and the work isnt so much preparing my body, its preparing my mind. I know my body can do it, it will be a matter of conditioning. But my mind, my beautiful and silly mind - well to be a little ironic, for this milestone my fundraising foundation is Sane Australia. An organisation supporting those caring for or living with a mental illness.

My PT/Friend E is going to help me train and I have put up a sign next to my bed and downloaded a training plan. So people - we're off and racing.

Fundraising page:
http://www.everydayhero.com.au/meighan_walker

Picture on the wall next to my bed, it will be the first thing I see in the morning:


Take Care,
Megs xx

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Weigh in..

Another week, another weigh in.
I lost 200gms this week. Not a huge loss, but I am going for the slow and steady mind set at the moment. Its a little frustrating, especially considering how close I am sitting to being under 100kgs but I am determined to keep a better outlook on things at the moment. These past few weeks have been so busy, and its made me start to think more outside the box on how I am going to manage once I move away from studying and back into a full time job and where exercise and making healthy eating choices will come in.

For example, I work in my paid job on a Friday. Its 1.5hrs away (one way) so I have to get up at 4am and leave the house by 4.30am to be at the first place by 6am. On Friday I literally jumped out of bed, into the shower, wolfed down some breakfast and hit the road. I forgot to pack a museli bar or any fruit to keep me going because as you can imagine by the time 7/7.30am rolls around I am ready for some more food. So instead, I had half a slice of banana bread (shared with someone), I had two coffees (one with a double shot), and because I was running late I didnt have time to stop somewhere and order lunch that would need to be cooked or made (sandwhich etc) so I tried to work out what from maccas would result in the same amount of calories I eat at lunch and is vegetarian = so that equaled a med fries. Except, a med fries meant I was hungry early and still on the road so I had limited choices again. But, I am not in the habit of shoulda, woulda, coulda. So now I have a plan to make sure I make food the night before and have it ready to go as I race out the door. Its all a learning process in the end and if I knew everything then I wouldnt still be 20kgs overweight.

I also, as I typed, entered a new race. The Central Coast 10k fun run. Its on the 27th November and I am determined to do a PB in this one. I never made it to Townsville much to my disappointment, this stuff happening at home made it impossible to go, but this one I WILL be a part of and I WILL finish.

New Stats:
Sw: 121.3
Cw: 101.1
Ltw: -.02
Ltd: 20.2kgs
Mini goal: 100
Overall goal: 80

Best be off, Take Care,
Megs xx

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Is there really an end of the road?

My recent blog post about motivation got me thinking. Is there an end of the road, an end of the line, the finish. Or am I destined to be on this journey forever. Forever, well its forever. Its until the day I die and without my crystal ball, I am hoping for a long life. So where will this end?

I guess for me, I need to come to grips with the fact that it wont ever end. I wont wake up one day and have genes which will make me skinny forever. My fitness wont stay with me, if I dont work on it. I wont be able to run forever, if I dont run today.

How do I feel about that? At first I felt irritated, when I woke up this morning I felt like I had a black cloud over my head. I am not unfamilar with depression and I could feel my fingers slipping from the grip I had on the ledge. And as I was sitting here, at 6.30am in the morning, browsing the web, eating breakfast and thinking about calling in sick to work because I felt so down - I stopped, sat back and said to myself. What do I want today to be?

So instead of crawling back into bed, I got up and put my trackies and a jumper on and I took the dogs for a walk. Then I came home, got dressed and walked to work. I had a good day. Then I got home and I wanted to go for a run, so I put my trackies back on and jogged 3.7kms. Wasnt a long run, but it was the fresh air I needed.

So no, it doesnt end. It never will end. But today was the first day in many weeks that I didnt want it to end. Today I wanted to be healthy and happy, so I went outside and I was happy. It was as simple as that.

Take Care,
Megs x

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Opppssss.

Bit of time between posting these days. In some ways its quite symbolic of how I have been feeling about my overall fitness and the time I have invested into it. But I do have some updates so I shall share those and spend some time rambling about my lack of motivation at the end.

1) I cracked the 20kg loss mark last week. Was a nice feeling. But I was a little despondant, thinking well I still have a long way to go. Halfway is where I am sitting atm and it was nice but I didnt feel what I was expecting.

2) I also had my first fun run. I never made it to townsville, some other stuff came up and we couldnt make the trip. I did go in the Middkemount fun run, went in the 5k run. I did a PB time of 39mins 10seconds. It was a bit of a weird run, I had some pants issues and my bum bag was annoying me and I was so paranoid about comming last that I went out too fast and ended up feeling like death when I finished. My first km was like 6mins 30 seconds which was way to fast for what I could comfortably maintained. I also did come last in my group, 8th out of 8th and it bugged me. All this little things and I just fell flat.

As for the motivation. Well really I dont know whats been happening with me. I have had gut issues and am having an endoscopy on the 30th August They are looking for an ulcer, bacteria or a spasming gall bladder. I have also been working mon-fri and studying and I have lost my mojo. I feel sad and I am having nightmares. I could give you a list as long as my arm and I wish this blog post was more upbeat but its funny I just dont have the energy. I was looking at my running log and there is a signifcant drop in the amount I have been running.

And now all this talk of lack of motivation has me down, so I am going to sign off.

Megs x