Weight watchers has always been my program of choice. After the birth of Izz I joined up but having a newborn, plus trying to track, eat well and do this on little sleep was almost impossible and I felt really disheartened and quit after not very long at all.
One of the things I truly believe about ww is that you need to go to meetings. The group support, the knowledge that you HAVE to step on those scales, the lessons the leader goes through with you ever week are imvaluable in keeping you motivated.
Tonight I went to my first meeting. I stepped on the scales for a weigh in of 116.6kgs. I started to think, holy shit, but then I stopped myself. Am I really surprised? No. I currently know most of the ice cream flavours currently available at Baskin Robins, I don't need to see a menu when I go to Hogs Breath as I know what I want to order, I have a game of how many scollops am I going to get when I order from the local fish and chip shop (they always give you more than you order). These are all very strong indications that I infact, have been eating *shit* and that when you eat shit, exercise sporadically and eat more shit, you ARE going to put on weight.
Opps, had to save that draft and come back. Now where was I.
So my reality was there, in numbers. But I am not ashamed. I am frustrated with myself, I am exasperated that I have gotten to this weight again when I strongly believed that I had seen those numbers for the last time. But having Izz, I have this new appreciation for my body. I could never resent what its done for me. I mean I literally grew and birthed a human baby, from that moment I developed a complete sense of awe.
What I know I need to do now, is remember that the wonderful things it does for me need to be repaid with looking after it. I will never be ashamed of my body again. The first few days have been tough, Ill be honest. But I am getting there. The sugar cravings are probably the worst. But I have some ww low point sugary snacks in the house to help tide me through the worst of it.
So bring on Tuesday and my next weigh in. :)
Thursday, September 19, 2013
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
Where have I been, looking back and seeing my last post was the 2nd March 2012 is completely mind blowing. I guess, in light of everything, my fitness and especially my blog got lost.
So what has happened:
I suppose the most wonder and extraordinary thing is that I am now a mother. To a beautiful little girl who is 9 months today. Her name is Isobel and she is absolutely the light of my life. I got my positive pregnancy test in March, so it must have been not long after that post that I got it, and life changed forever. She was born at 39+2 weeks and a very healthy 3.5kgs. I managed to keep my weight gain to 10kgs the entire pregnancy, although I did have some issues with breathing related to her being so intent on sitting on my diaphragm. All in all though, it was a great pregnancy, and a great natural birth.
Secondly, we moved AGAIN. We sold our house in NSW and moved back to Sunny QLD and its capital of Brisbane. We live in the northern suburbs, we bought and its a great little house.
Thirdly, and not related to weight loss haha, I lost one of my beautiful cats to leukemia in Jan. It was very much a surprise and I was heartbroken. In may we brought home a new little kitten Delilah, who is so very sweet and lovely. All white, and very mischevious.
So fitness wise?
Despite only gaining 10kg, it was through no active interventions of being healthy, or active. I pretty much ate what I could (had yucky all day nausea up until about 16 weeks) and I just worked, ate, and slept. As I got more pregnant and due to some issues with my breathing I could hardly walk 500m without needing to sit down from breathlessness so fitness went on the wayside too. From 24weeks to 36 weeks I was also spending a lot of time living in a hotel unit with S while he made the work transition up here, we spent less than a month in total I reckon at home during that time. So food, again, was pretty poor.
Once I had Izz, I lost quite a bit and ended up getting down to 102kgs, but the bad habits I had picked up during pregnancy just continued and as of now, I am 114.8kgs, which is really not cool.
Yesterday I finally bit the bullet and went and saw a dietician. She has started me on a 1500cal food plan. Lots of easy meals, and yummy (non eat lettuce only) salads. I tried Michelle Bridges, round two, but I found her food too "fancy" and too limiting for what Steve and I eat. I thought about doing weight watches again but having recently also returned to work as an RN in an aged care facility, I simply don't have time to sit and meticulous with my tracking. The dietician was great though, we set some exercise goals as well, (at least 30mins of mod intensity six days a week) and I feel good!
So hopefully, this will see the new turnaround.