Thursday, August 11, 2011

Is there really an end of the road?

My recent blog post about motivation got me thinking. Is there an end of the road, an end of the line, the finish. Or am I destined to be on this journey forever. Forever, well its forever. Its until the day I die and without my crystal ball, I am hoping for a long life. So where will this end?

I guess for me, I need to come to grips with the fact that it wont ever end. I wont wake up one day and have genes which will make me skinny forever. My fitness wont stay with me, if I dont work on it. I wont be able to run forever, if I dont run today.

How do I feel about that? At first I felt irritated, when I woke up this morning I felt like I had a black cloud over my head. I am not unfamilar with depression and I could feel my fingers slipping from the grip I had on the ledge. And as I was sitting here, at 6.30am in the morning, browsing the web, eating breakfast and thinking about calling in sick to work because I felt so down - I stopped, sat back and said to myself. What do I want today to be?

So instead of crawling back into bed, I got up and put my trackies and a jumper on and I took the dogs for a walk. Then I came home, got dressed and walked to work. I had a good day. Then I got home and I wanted to go for a run, so I put my trackies back on and jogged 3.7kms. Wasnt a long run, but it was the fresh air I needed.

So no, it doesnt end. It never will end. But today was the first day in many weeks that I didnt want it to end. Today I wanted to be healthy and happy, so I went outside and I was happy. It was as simple as that.

Take Care,
Megs x

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