My recent blog post about motivation got me thinking. Is there an end of the road, an end of the line, the finish. Or am I destined to be on this journey forever. Forever, well its forever. Its until the day I die and without my crystal ball, I am hoping for a long life. So where will this end?
I guess for me, I need to come to grips with the fact that it wont ever end. I wont wake up one day and have genes which will make me skinny forever. My fitness wont stay with me, if I dont work on it. I wont be able to run forever, if I dont run today.
How do I feel about that? At first I felt irritated, when I woke up this morning I felt like I had a black cloud over my head. I am not unfamilar with depression and I could feel my fingers slipping from the grip I had on the ledge. And as I was sitting here, at 6.30am in the morning, browsing the web, eating breakfast and thinking about calling in sick to work because I felt so down - I stopped, sat back and said to myself. What do I want today to be?
So instead of crawling back into bed, I got up and put my trackies and a jumper on and I took the dogs for a walk. Then I came home, got dressed and walked to work. I had a good day. Then I got home and I wanted to go for a run, so I put my trackies back on and jogged 3.7kms. Wasnt a long run, but it was the fresh air I needed.
So no, it doesnt end. It never will end. But today was the first day in many weeks that I didnt want it to end. Today I wanted to be healthy and happy, so I went outside and I was happy. It was as simple as that.