Sunday, September 18, 2011

A better day....

I didnt get up for my early long run like I had planned. I was asleep until 9am and then it was too hot and I was too tired! I know, I know. Instead I cleaned the house, took the doggies for a lovely walk and a visit to their doggie friends and had a nap. This afternoon I woke up feeling much better. My head felt less foggy and I felt like I wanted to go for a run.
I decided I would try for 3km. I struggle with afternoon runs as they seem to upset my stomach, I now know to make sure there are toilet stops along the way. This afternoon however I hit the 2.5km mark and I felt good, I was setting a good pace, 8.30 first km and 8.20 second km. So I decided to spread my distance out. I ended up doing 5.1km in total, with an average pace of 8mins30seconds and I did the 5k in 42mins28secs. It was great.

I have logged 20.4kms this week which is great. I really want to run 20+ kms a week in preparation for my half. My food hasnt been fantastic this weekend, S and I were talking about ice cream on the phone and I was craving one something shocking, but I used the money to get a DVD instead and am making a protein based muslei and strawberry yoghurt for dessert instead. Baby steps :-)

Take care,
Megs xx

Saturday, September 17, 2011

We can be our own worst enemies.

I jumped on the scales for my weigh in today. I lost 700gms this week. Awesome. I finally felt that my plateau had been broken as I have lost 1.1kgs in the last two weeks. Yay, right? Well, after I weighed in I had breakky and then decided to head out for a run. I wanted to do the hill. I started out and my stride didnt feel right, I felt tired right from the begining and I just knew I wasnt in the right head space. I made it halfway up the hill, but didnt jog all of it. Then I couldnt work out how to alter my stride to go downhill, so I walked some again. I jogged home, but my pace was sluggish and I felt like my form was poor. In truth, it was a dead set horrible run. I came home and tried not to be too disappointed, but I felt like my whole day was off. I went grocery shopping and brought home a king size snickers, and well ate it. I had oven baked chips for lunch, I ate four biscuits for afternoon tea and I had a whole pizza to myself for dinner. I am up and its 12.30am, mainly because I feel so sick in the stomach and bloated. I didnt enjoy my food. It was heavy and starchy and I feel terribly thirsty, but I did it anyway.

I am not new to comfort eating, it is something I have struggled with for many years. It plays a large role in why I am the size I am, or was. But there comes a time when you have to accept that you're in control of what you eat. Sure, I had a bad day. Sure, I had a lousy run which made me have a freak out about my half and how on earth I was going to do it when I seriously clocked a 10min km this morning. So whats the solution? Well for starters I have to stop napping during the day, its ruining my evening sleep on the weekend, making me sluggish. I have to think before I eat. I rang up the take away tonight with the intention of getting some chips and my vegie burger, but when they didnt have scallops I decided that I needed a pizza instead. So, I need to think about the reality that I may not be mentally ready to deal with take away food. I need to stop thinking that having a walking period in a run is failure, especially when I am trying something new. The fact is, I still ran 5.3kms out the 6 odd kms I went, so I didnt fail. I merely tried, didnt do as well as I wanted, so I have to try again. I need to stop trying to talk myself out of the half, every time I have a doubt I can feel my hand on the abort button. On the 27th Nov, at 7am, I WILL be on the starting line.

What can I do right now, I can go to bed, get up tomorrow and start again.

Take Care,
Megs x

Monday, September 12, 2011

Mixing it up..

I decided to head to a circuit class tonight. I took the dogs for a 40min walk first, I then came home, got changed and headed to the gym. I warmed up by doing a 20min jog, maintaining a 8.34min/km pace, I then jumped off and did an intense 30 min circuit class which included holding a squat position leaning against the wall, jumping squats, crunches, squats holding a bar above your head, star jumps, burpees, push ups with a squat in between and this exercise where you laid down and threw a medicine ball up and then caught it. It was hard, I was knackered, but felt really good at the end. I came home and loaded up my dinner plate with vegies including brussel sprouts, brocoli, peas, beans, zuchini, potato and some vegie tofu bites. I have to say, today I felt good despite having an awful nights sleep.

I also decided to participate in a fun run a week before my half. But its not your average fun run;

Its going to be all kinds of awesome, I cannot wait!

Take care,
Megs x

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Nailed it!

What a workout.

It began by me walking the dogs with S down to the gym. Its around 20mins by foot. Nice walk, nice weather. I then jumped on the treaddy and did a 10min warm up jog and went 1.1kms. Then I did boxing with E my Pt/Friend. We did several drills including kicking and speed work. I was working so hard I sweated from sheer exhaustion. We then finished it off with ab work, not one single one but a mix.

All up I did 95mins. It felt good. I burned. My hands were shaking. But thats what its about. Pure adrenalin and exertion. Love it.

Feel the Fury!

Take Care,
Megs x

Friday, September 9, 2011


It's small achievements in the face of adversity, knowing you could have given in, but making that concious choice not to.
For me, this was yesterday. I had a rough day, emotional and draining. I wanted to get out of the house, I wanted to do anything other than sit on the lounge and watch DVD's and make poor food choices. I want freedom from my mind. And what better way to achieve this than to move, move the body - you force the mind to think about something else. I went to the gym, on my training program I had hills factored in. They help with building leg strength. So for every song I ran on the treaddy, I went up 0.5% incline. By the last song I was at an incline of 3%. I kept my pace steady at 9mins a km for the whole 25mins I was tackling the hills and it felt good. I did 2.7kms in total. The treaddys at the gym time out at 25mins and I was going to jump off and do something else but I felt so good from running that I just started the treaddy again and did another 20mins at 8.30min kms. I did another 20minutes and another 2.4kms, taking my total to 5.1kms. I got off the treadmill and it was like I had cried, like I had allowed myself to grieve completely. But I hadnt, I hadnt droped a tear, I had sweated buckets. But my mind, I gave it what it needed. And it felt cleansed. I made my peace with what was troubling me and I moved on.

In other news I have lost 400gms of the 500gms I had put on over the last few weeks. I keep saying, fingers crossed that the plateau has been broken, but in reality the only one who can change that is me.

New Stats:
Sw: 121.3
Cw: 101.3
ltw: 0.4
ltd: 20kgs

I also had a strange moment last night. I was reading about Big W's new plus size line online. And it had been getting some good reviews, so I thought well Ill go online and check it out and maybe buy something. And then I stopped. I dont need to buy plus size anymore. It doesnt apply to me anymore. And I sat back in the chair, speechless.

A song I am loving at the moment:

Take Care,
Megs x

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Not a natural runner...

I am by no means a natural runner. I kinda look like this;

And it got me to thinking, would I love it as much if it were easy? I am pretty stubborn, I dont like being told that I cant do something or that I shouldnt. I always have to test it out myself. It drives S mad because he can tell me something 100 times but unless I do it myself I dont believe him. With running I am slow, my technique isnt great, I am still obese and sometimes I let my mind get the better of me. But, you know, I kind of love that. I love that there is room for me to improve on, I love that I can still do it despite the obstacles, I love that I have to work on it because it makes me stronger both mentally and physically. Dont get me wrong, I see other people out there and think man I wish I had your technique, or pace or sheer grace but thats life. I love the quote "The grass is always greener, but just as hard to mow". Some of the best runners I know still battle with mental block, injury and time disppointment. Being good doesnt automatically mean they have no challenges. And one day, when I look back at how far I have come, I will have a pretty awesome story ;-)

Take Care,
Megs x

Monday, September 5, 2011

Time to harden up...

I have blogged about feeling sick over the last few weeks/months. I have had a lingering gut issue, a lingering virus and just a general feeling of blah. Well, after having no definitive diagnosis of anything that has been happening, over the weekend I took some time to reflect on what was really going on.

I have made some really awesome plans of late. The half marathon, my friend E made me up a training program which is actually alot of fun and quite varying to keep me interested, I have had some really great news regarding moving back home to where S and I come from, we have had house news and Ive almost finished my degree. All really positive stuff. And I had periods of that in there where I felt really motivated with my training, which I am sure my blog posting reflected. But I havent been comitted, not like I was at the begining of the year. I would have a couple of good days and then feel really blah again and lose my commitment. So whats the solution, well a part of me thought about giving up on the HM idea. And then I really stopped, and this was over the weekend. And I thought, why? Why stop? How is that a solution, because thats just plain giving up.
I have all the tools I need to help me get near where I need to be. I have S and E as wonderful support, I have my training, I have the ABILITY to train, I have a bit more time comming up, I have the desire. Well again, its a mental block. Its about getting out there when I really, REALLY dont want to and getting over that hump. I think its like I have almost psyched myself out of doing the HM. Because when I signed up I was hopeful and fantasising about it. I had an idea, not a plan. Then I got a plan, but for a plan to work you have to make it work and suddenly it doesnt matter if you have every single person in the world telling you, you can do it - if you dont believe you can. So how do you reconcile that?
There is only one thing you can honestly do and thats harden up. I read an online blog of a man who had a starting weight of 500pounds which is 226kgs. His goal is to run a marathon. He has already lost a whopping 200pounds which is incredible. Reading his blog, it really hit home. Sometimes you just have to do it, there isnt an instant reward or treat. It isnt about reaching a goal everyday. Sometimes its just about getting out there and keep going. Keep moving forward, because if you dont you'll start to go backwards and it can be a really slippery slope.
So this morning I got up and went to the gym. I did my training program. I aimed to eat clean and I did fairly well at that. I had a good day.
Take Care,
Megs x