I have blogged about feeling sick over the last few weeks/months. I have had a lingering gut issue, a lingering virus and just a general feeling of blah. Well, after having no definitive diagnosis of anything that has been happening, over the weekend I took some time to reflect on what was really going on.
I have made some really awesome plans of late. The half marathon, my friend E made me up a training program which is actually alot of fun and quite varying to keep me interested, I have had some really great news regarding moving back home to where S and I come from, we have had house news and Ive almost finished my degree. All really positive stuff. And I had periods of that in there where I felt really motivated with my training, which I am sure my blog posting reflected. But I havent been comitted, not like I was at the begining of the year. I would have a couple of good days and then feel really blah again and lose my commitment. So whats the solution, well a part of me thought about giving up on the HM idea. And then I really stopped, and this was over the weekend. And I thought, why? Why stop? How is that a solution, because thats just plain giving up.
I have all the tools I need to help me get near where I need to be. I have S and E as wonderful support, I have my training, I have the ABILITY to train, I have a bit more time comming up, I have the desire. Well again, its a mental block. Its about getting out there when I really, REALLY dont want to and getting over that hump. I think its like I have almost psyched myself out of doing the HM. Because when I signed up I was hopeful and fantasising about it. I had an idea, not a plan. Then I got a plan, but for a plan to work you have to make it work and suddenly it doesnt matter if you have every single person in the world telling you, you can do it - if you dont believe you can. So how do you reconcile that?
There is only one thing you can honestly do and thats harden up. I read an online blog of a man who had a starting weight of 500pounds which is 226kgs. His goal is to run a marathon. He has already lost a whopping 200pounds which is incredible. Reading his blog, it really hit home. Sometimes you just have to do it, there isnt an instant reward or treat. It isnt about reaching a goal everyday. Sometimes its just about getting out there and keep going. Keep moving forward, because if you dont you'll start to go backwards and it can be a really slippery slope.
So this morning I got up and went to the gym. I did my training program. I aimed to eat clean and I did fairly well at that. I had a good day.