Weight watchers has always been my program of choice. After the birth of Izz I joined up but having a newborn, plus trying to track, eat well and do this on little sleep was almost impossible and I felt really disheartened and quit after not very long at all.
One of the things I truly believe about ww is that you need to go to meetings. The group support, the knowledge that you HAVE to step on those scales, the lessons the leader goes through with you ever week are imvaluable in keeping you motivated.
Tonight I went to my first meeting. I stepped on the scales for a weigh in of 116.6kgs. I started to think, holy shit, but then I stopped myself. Am I really surprised? No. I currently know most of the ice cream flavours currently available at Baskin Robins, I don't need to see a menu when I go to Hogs Breath as I know what I want to order, I have a game of how many scollops am I going to get when I order from the local fish and chip shop (they always give you more than you order). These are all very strong indications that I infact, have been eating *shit* and that when you eat shit, exercise sporadically and eat more shit, you ARE going to put on weight.
Opps, had to save that draft and come back. Now where was I.
So my reality was there, in numbers. But I am not ashamed. I am frustrated with myself, I am exasperated that I have gotten to this weight again when I strongly believed that I had seen those numbers for the last time. But having Izz, I have this new appreciation for my body. I could never resent what its done for me. I mean I literally grew and birthed a human baby, from that moment I developed a complete sense of awe.
What I know I need to do now, is remember that the wonderful things it does for me need to be repaid with looking after it. I will never be ashamed of my body again. The first few days have been tough, Ill be honest. But I am getting there. The sugar cravings are probably the worst. But I have some ww low point sugary snacks in the house to help tide me through the worst of it.
So bring on Tuesday and my next weigh in. :)