If at first you don't succeed.

Weight watchers has always been my program of choice. After the birth of Izz I joined up but having a newborn, plus trying to track, eat well and do this on little sleep was almost impossible and I felt really disheartened and quit after not very long at all.

One of the things I truly believe about ww is that you need to go to meetings. The group support, the knowledge that you HAVE to step on those scales, the lessons the leader goes through with you ever week are imvaluable in keeping you motivated.

Tonight I went to my first meeting. I stepped on the scales for a weigh in of 116.6kgs. I started to think, holy shit, but then I stopped myself. Am I really surprised? No. I currently know most of the ice cream flavours currently available at Baskin Robins, I don't need to see a menu when I go to Hogs Breath as I know what I want to order, I have a game of how many scollops am I going to get when I order from the local fish and chip shop (they always give you more than you order). These are all very strong indications that I infact, have been eating *shit* and that when you eat shit, exercise sporadically and eat more shit, you ARE going to put on weight.

Opps, had to save that draft and come back. Now where was I.

So my reality was there, in numbers. But I am not ashamed. I am frustrated with myself, I am exasperated that I have gotten to this weight again when I strongly believed that I had seen those numbers for the last time. But having Izz, I have this new appreciation for my body. I could never resent what its done for me. I mean I literally grew and birthed a human baby, from that moment I developed a complete sense of awe.

What I know I need to do now, is remember that the wonderful things it does for me need to be repaid with looking after it. I will never be ashamed of my body again. The first few days have been tough, Ill be honest. But I am getting there. The sugar cravings are probably the worst. But I have some ww low point sugary snacks in the house to help tide me through the worst of it.

So bring on Tuesday and my next weigh in. :)

Take Care,
Megs xox

Where have you been?!?!?

Woah.

Where have I been, looking back and seeing my last post was the 2nd March 2012 is completely mind blowing. I guess, in light of everything, my fitness and especially my blog got lost.

So what has happened:

I suppose the most wonder and extraordinary thing is that I am now a mother. To a beautiful little girl who is 9 months today. Her name is Isobel and she is absolutely the light of my life. I got my positive pregnancy test in March, so it must have been not long after that post that I got it, and life changed forever. She was born at 39+2 weeks and a very healthy 3.5kgs. I managed to keep my weight gain to 10kgs the entire pregnancy, although I did have some issues with breathing related to her being so intent on sitting on my diaphragm. All in all though, it was a great pregnancy, and a great natural birth.

Secondly, we moved AGAIN. We sold our house in NSW and moved back to Sunny QLD and its capital of Brisbane. We live in the northern suburbs, we bought and its a great little house.

Thirdly, and not related to weight loss haha, I lost one of my beautiful cats to leukemia in Jan. It was very much a surprise and I was heartbroken. In may we brought home a new little kitten Delilah, who is so very sweet and lovely. All white, and very mischevious.

So fitness wise?
Despite only gaining 10kg, it was through no active interventions of being healthy, or active. I pretty much ate what I could (had yucky all day nausea up until about 16 weeks) and I just worked, ate, and slept. As I got more pregnant and due to some issues with my breathing I could hardly walk 500m without needing to sit down from breathlessness so fitness went on the wayside too. From 24weeks to 36 weeks I was also spending a lot of time living in a hotel unit with S while he made the work transition up here, we spent less than a month in total I reckon at home during that time. So food, again, was pretty poor.

Once I had Izz, I lost quite a bit and ended up getting down to 102kgs, but the bad habits I had picked up during pregnancy just continued and as of now, I am 114.8kgs, which is really not cool.
Yesterday I finally bit the bullet and went and saw a dietician. She has started me on a 1500cal food plan. Lots of easy meals, and yummy (non eat lettuce only) salads. I tried Michelle Bridges, round two, but I found her food too "fancy" and too limiting for what Steve and I eat. I thought about doing weight watches again but having recently also returned to work as an RN in an aged care facility, I simply don't have time to sit and meticulous with my tracking. The dietician was great though, we set some exercise goals as well, (at least 30mins of mod intensity six days a week) and I feel good!

So hopefully, this will see the new turnaround.
Take Care,
Megs xoxo

A cold bath isn't for the faint hearted..

On Tuesday I ordered myself some compression pants, I have seen them but a friend alerted me of a sale and who can resist a good bargin. I managed to get two pairs for less than half price. I was a bit skeptical as the compression pants I had tried on before were too squishy (the idea being that they are TIGHT), but these arrived yesterday and while they are a firm fit, they defintely leave some of my shape to the imagination which I appreciate and they sit really well on my hips and around my butt (my biggest area haha). I loved them that much, I ordered another pair last night. This morning I decided to take them on a date to the gym, S came along (I called him a third wheel for good measure, but really it was great to see him at the gym :) ) I did 4.6k on the espresso bikes (basically a bike connected to a network where you can log in and record your data, it also has set courses to challenge you if you want). I then jumped on the treadmill to test out my flat running (I have been pushing the hills this week) and I settled on a pace that alternated between 9min/km and 8min/km, alternating speeds as I felt my body wax and wane. I ended up doing 4.05k all up, in 36mins - on Thursday I did 3.5k of hills and it took 35mins, so thats quite an improvement. My 3k hill time on Wednesday was 28mins and I did the 3k on the treadmill in 26min15seconds, another improvement.

So I am progressing. I have also decided not to weigh myself weekly anymore. I am weighing in once a month (on the 14th) and it will be what it is. I am atm more focused on fitness, rather than a diet per se. Two and a bit years of different programs have done my head in. I am booked in to see an endochronologist on the 16th April to discuss my underactive thyroid (autoimmune hashimoto's) and my poly cystic ovarian sydrome, both which hinder weight loss and cause rapidweight gain. Ill just go on, trying to make good food choices until then and see what weight I am.

I still have the fun run on the 16th March as well, which I am started to get excited/nervous about. Ill keep up the intensity running next week and then week of the race Ill probably drop back to one or two runs and then race day!

As for the title, one suggestion I have and its not for the faint hearted. After you exert your muscles, you get microtears in the muscles which causes bleeding (inflammation) and slow onset pain (the pain you get a day or two later) in your muscles. My suggestion, jump in a cold bath. It reduces inflammation to the area and is a nice way to cool down. But, its kinda a bitch ;-)

Stay tuned,
Megs xx

I am so proud of myself..

Took my beautiful dog Sassy out for a run with me this afternoon. We did a hill session, 3k in total. Took 28mins. Am very happy. She loved every minute of it, shes a very active breed of dog!

I also bought a diary so I can keep a hardcopy of my distances each week, only bought it the other day so can add the first entry today.

I feel even more proud of my acomplishment because I went after work, even though I was very tired. Go team!

Stay tuned,
Megs xx

And the verdict is...

That a controlled 1600 cal diet agrees with me. I lost 900gms this week. Total loss has headed back up to 18.7kgs. Cant argue with that :)

Stay tuned,
Megs xx

Shaking things up...

When I first joined the biggest loser online club you got to pick the level of weight loss you wanted per week and that equaled the amount of calories that you would be given to eat. I choose to try and stick to as close to what I would be eating at my goal weight, which in hindsight wasnt a very good idea. I'll admit, one of my biggest fears is being hungry, I dont know why, I have never been in a situation where I havent had access to food (financially or environmentally). Yet, I have this mindset where I would rather have as much food as I can possibly eat so that I dont have that feeling of hunger. So intially, based on my basal metabolic rate, my job and the type of program I wanted they gave me 2300 calories a day. I was cheering, I could eat that, no worries and I wouldnt be hungry. Problem is when you have such a high limit, when you go over it you have very little wiggle room. I am very good at rationalising poor food choices out in my mind and I would have extra in the guise that I would compensate with exercise, but in those weeks I wasnt exercising as hard, because of factors I have mentioned before (new job, new town etc). This combination has seen me really stall, I put on those few extra pesky kg's over christmas and was starting to become really frustrated that  my weight wasnt doing anything, I was also starting to get that bloated look which is quite common when I eat alot of heavy foods like bread.
Friday is now my weigh in day and on Saturday I began my new calorie adjustment, I brought it right down to 1600cals. Thats still above the minimum 1200cals for women, but more realistic in kickstarting the weight loss. The first day went really well, I did have "hunger" feelings, but nothing more than a sensation that if I ate it would be because I was hungry and not because I had to use up my calories. Interestingly enough, my food choices were more concious as well, I had this smaller limit and I was reaching for fruit as snacks, rather than savory items which I am quite partial too. I had to weigh in this morning for the 1million kg challenge and I have lost 400gms in three days, I am VERY excited by this. I have also done two good workouts so far and even though I have been tired, I have made progress to recommitting to keeping up my fitness levels. I have always said I want to be fit more than I want to be skinny :)

Stay Tuned,
Megs x

Now thats the Megs I know...

First run in 1-1.5months. Did 3.5kms, burnt 400 cals. It was a beautiful early morning run outside, foggy and slightly overcast, very picture perfect. How happy do I look :)

Stay Tuned,

Megs xx

Chocolate, pasta and bread.

The three dreaded carb words in the weight loss world. I have a different take on them. Tonight for instance, I made a pasta dish, but the difference I find is not using a heavy pre made tomato or cheese base sauce and instead use lighter ingredients. For instance, tonights pasta dish was small macaroni pasta, cooked in vegetable stock, with peas, tomatoes and topped with a small dash of parmesan cheese. It was delicious. The vegetable stock gave the pasta a little flavour and the combination of tomato and peas was actually quite yum.

I really do believe in everything in moderation. So if I have a chocolate, then I cant have anything else sweet and higher in calories for the rest of the day, so cue the fruit and fresh vegies for dinner. Depriving myself of chocolate, well it doesnt work because then its all I can think about. I may even have a little bit of chocolate every day, it really does help keep the cravings at bay. Its the same with coke, I love real coke, so I buy the small 200ml cans and I am allowed one a day, I dont have one every day, but knowing that its not off limits means I dont crave or even want it every day. So next time you reach for the chocolate, I say have some. Dont overindulge, have enough to satisfy your cravings and then make sure you look at healthy options for the rest of the day. I count calories, and I know for me I can have a treat and stay within my calories.

Stay tuned,

Megs 

2012

My last official blog was on the 10th december. I really cannot believe it has been that long. I have to say, the fitness side of things hasn't been very impressive. Before we left middlemount I said to both S and my PT I was worried that I would come back to "civilisation" with all the temptations (fast food, restaurants, nights out drinking) and I wouldnt cope, I would find myself falling back into old habits. And I have to say it was a bit of a self fulfilling prophecy. Its not even that I couldnt havent kept up the good work, I just let myself be slack. I also started working full time and I just felt so tiiiired. Christmas came and went, as did new years and my trip to Japan, cue lots of food and less exercise. I did throw in some compensary trips to the gym and some walks with the dogs, but really my heart wasnt in it. Overall I have put on around 2.5kgs, which I am counting my lucky stars it isnt more, but what I havent done is measure the cm's because I am sure they have crept back on which is why some of my clothes dont fit quite right.
Its sad, that I had all the right tools and the knowledge, but somehow I gave myself permission to get slack. The real wake up call has been recently, I have been watching friends find this wonderful motivation to become fitter and I have felt jealous, jealous that it wasnt me. And then I stopped and thought about it, why on earth isnt it me? Instead of reading about them, how about I just get my butt back into gear. Today S and I went to the gym, I did some intervals on the bike, 15mins of jogging on the treaddy and some weights. I feel a bit better but I know I have a ways to go to get myself back. I know I have it in me, I just have to reconnect with what it is I was working for.

Stay tuned.
Megs xx

Cravings.

One issue with falling off the bandwagon is that when you try and jump back on it, you get the cravings from the wrong side of life. My biggest craving has been chips, hot chips, specifically from hungry jacks. I love their veggie burger and chips. Yesterday I had a really massive day at work, it was great but just very tiring. I am learning new things and it has really wiped me out. I knew I had today off so I came home and had a nap. During the day I had eaten some naughty stuff as there was a party and I allowed myself a treat. I wasnt really hungry so S and I decided to have a cook your own night. I spent about 1/2 an hour after waking up debating if I wouldnt bother and just go and have hungry jacks for dinner. I had a treat (or several, damm rocky road slice) that day and I was craving the sugar, I KNEW I was craving the sugar. The problem with giving into your cravings is that as soon as you have finished, the feeling of remorse smacks you up the side of your head and you wish x 1000 that you had just chose the healthier option. Finally I got up off the computer and stood in front of the fridge. I had all the healthy options I needed in there and with a sigh I ended up making myself a roll, multigrain, avocado, light cheese, egg and mustard and I had a small packet of Sakata's as dessert. I immediately felt like I have conquered the insurmountable, so because I was refreshed after a nap and because I knew I was headed in the right direction I went to the gym. I didnt get there till 8.30pm, but thankfully my gym is a 24hr one and I was able to spend as much time as I liked. I warmed up on the rower, 5 mins and then did a lovely 5k jog. So much for my plan to take the running easier, I was just so happy to be running along that I kept going and going. This morning my ITB is sore, but so very worth it. I finished off with a 5min cycle on the bike and I was done :) Happy times. This is the Meighan I have come to know!

Take care,
Megs xx

A new mindset, a new program...

I think we all get tired. Tired of trying to make the right choices and be the best version of yourself. Since I moved and since I started to have a busier lifestyle, I became tired. I sort of let myself go. My fitness, my motivation and I embraced an old lifestyle that, to be honest, I was scared would come back. I joined ww again, which I blogged about but after a week I was really over it. I have done ww, sometimes sucessfully, sometimes not. I just feel like I need a fresh start, I need to look at my lifestyle now and how I can improve on that. I needed someone to aspire to, someone who has faced similar struggles and thats how I came across Amy. Amy is an exceptionally insprational person. I cannot express how awesome she is. Her blog is www.aimtochange.com.au She started at 190kgs and is now down to 95kgs. Honestly I cannot describe what an absolute inspiration she is for me. So I started to really go through her blog and see what is was that worked for her. And thats when I came across the biggest loser website. I know the TV show, I dont think there are many people out there who dont. The website is http://biggestloserclub.com.au/ . I started to read what others had said and then I thought, is it really going to hurt to try? So I decided to give ww a miss, and try the biggest loser online weight loss club. After doing all the standard data entry, I decided to print off their shopping list. Now I am probably not going to make the same meals as them, but then I thought, well if I have the same food in the house I can make my own versions. S was really amazed at what was in the fridge, it was bursting, but with healthy foods. Even if I dont eat their meals, I can still track my calorie intake with my daily diary. I also get exercise goals for the week. Exercise has been my main concern at the moment, I am so tired. Full time work is absolutely flogging me, so instead of trying to fight with my body and because I am still fighting my leg/running injury, I have decided to exercise more conservately. My main exercise atm has been walking the dogs, with the odd gym session thrown in, mainly when I am on days off. Its not my most hearty effort, but I am trying not to beat myself up and just let my body do what it needs to do atm.

I am down to 101kgs again which I am really happy with. Which means a 20.4kg loss again. So Ill just keep plugging away.

Take Care,
Megs xx

Where has my mojo gone?

The love of running, the 90min gym sessions, eating well, thinking positive.

Have you seen it?

Back on track...

My first week of ww has seen me lose 800gms. Pretty happy with that. It wasnt a completely on track week as I was getting used to having to log on and enter all my food and I was a bit lazy at times. I made sure I at least walked with the dogs for exercise, not as much gyming as I would like, I am going to have to work out a better schedule for that!

Today was a day off though and I got out with the dogs for a 30min walk, then headed to the gym and did a 30min jog, a 20min bike ride at random intervals and a 10min cool down. All up I burnt 610calories which I am happy with.

S has been away for two weeks and as of this friday he wont have to go away in two week blocks anymore so I am hoping to alternate days where he can walk the dogs alone and I go to the gym after work and vice versa. I really struggle going to the gym in the morning when I working, it sounds lame but I am already getting up so early and have such a physical job that I find more energy after I finish than first thing in the morning. But at the end of the day its that you went, not what time of day you go!

Should probably go, have an appointment early in the morning. Take care,
Megs xx

I joined back up...

To weight watchers.

I have decided to be more proactive with my food. Clearly intuitive eating doesnt work for me as I am still harbouring lingering binge eating tendencies and I just dont get that clearly full sensation.

I will reach my goal. I signed up for unlimited so I can go to meetings when I am not working! Its on a Tuesday night. I also need to make an effort to use the gym more, its a 24hr facility so there really isnt any excuse!

In good news I did the Valley Stampede 5k mud fun run today with S. www.valleystampede.com.au
It was insanity. Took us close to 1.5hrs (official times should be out over the weekend). But we had a laugh. Ran the first part but once we started to get soaked with water and covered in mud the running pretty much stopped and we walked and crawled our way to the finish line. Got some bruises and sore body parts but alot of great memories!

Take care,
Megs x

Hmmmm not the best start....

Macca's, pizza hut all you can eat, poached eggs and alotta alcohol.

Come on Megs.

Okay

101.7kgs.

Goal is 99.5kgs by the 12th December. So thats 2.3kgs. I will weigh in once, half way through to see how I am going.

Bring.it.on!

Where have you been Meighan?

Where have you been?

You havent been out there, busy losing weight, because last time you checked you were actually a kg heavier than the last time you were in here.
You havent been out training, because last time I looked there was no dirt on your shoes or sweaty gym towels in the car.
You havent been out making healthy food choices, because there are take away wrappers in the car and in the bin.

So, where have you been?

10kgs seems to be the place where I lose myself. Happened at the first 10kgs and happened again when I hit 20kgs lost. I stop, think, woweeee I am happy and fine and ready to relax.
But what I have to accept, what I have to get through my mind, is that I can never relax. Each day is about finding new ways to incorporate health and fitness into my life. Its not about reaching 20kgs lost and thinking, oh well I am good now, Ill eat that extra dessert or I'll have a second helping. That is teaching me nothing, getting me nowhere.

I have had a busy month, Ill give myself that. We moved back to the city, I got a new full time job, I got sick and I got injured. But really, so what? Does that mean I am allowed to eat a tub of ice cream, have hungry jacks for dinner and skip a workout session. Well, no, not really. Actually, no not at all.

Tonight I was catching up on a blog (and a lady) that really inspires me. Her name is Amy and she has lost 95kgs. Her story makes me want to cry, cheer and laugh at the same time. You can read her blog here: http://aim-to-change.blogspot.com/
After reading it, I decided I am going to set myself a goal. I am going to weigh in this saturday morning, and exactly one month from this date I am going to be under 100kgs. I dont care if I have to lose 100gms or 3kgs, I will be under this number in one month. No if',s but's, or maybe's. I know I can do it, running injury be dammed, time poor be dammed and mind me dammed. Its time to move it!

Take care,
Megs x

A better day....

I didnt get up for my early long run like I had planned. I was asleep until 9am and then it was too hot and I was too tired! I know, I know. Instead I cleaned the house, took the doggies for a lovely walk and a visit to their doggie friends and had a nap. This afternoon I woke up feeling much better. My head felt less foggy and I felt like I wanted to go for a run.
I decided I would try for 3km. I struggle with afternoon runs as they seem to upset my stomach, I now know to make sure there are toilet stops along the way. This afternoon however I hit the 2.5km mark and I felt good, I was setting a good pace, 8.30 first km and 8.20 second km. So I decided to spread my distance out. I ended up doing 5.1km in total, with an average pace of 8mins30seconds and I did the 5k in 42mins28secs. It was great.

I have logged 20.4kms this week which is great. I really want to run 20+ kms a week in preparation for my half. My food hasnt been fantastic this weekend, S and I were talking about ice cream on the phone and I was craving one something shocking, but I used the money to get a DVD instead and am making a protein based muslei and strawberry yoghurt for dessert instead. Baby steps :-)

Take care,
Megs xx

We can be our own worst enemies.

I jumped on the scales for my weigh in today. I lost 700gms this week. Awesome. I finally felt that my plateau had been broken as I have lost 1.1kgs in the last two weeks. Yay, right? Well, after I weighed in I had breakky and then decided to head out for a run. I wanted to do the hill. I started out and my stride didnt feel right, I felt tired right from the begining and I just knew I wasnt in the right head space. I made it halfway up the hill, but didnt jog all of it. Then I couldnt work out how to alter my stride to go downhill, so I walked some again. I jogged home, but my pace was sluggish and I felt like my form was poor. In truth, it was a dead set horrible run. I came home and tried not to be too disappointed, but I felt like my whole day was off. I went grocery shopping and brought home a king size snickers, and well ate it. I had oven baked chips for lunch, I ate four biscuits for afternoon tea and I had a whole pizza to myself for dinner. I am up and its 12.30am, mainly because I feel so sick in the stomach and bloated. I didnt enjoy my food. It was heavy and starchy and I feel terribly thirsty, but I did it anyway.

I am not new to comfort eating, it is something I have struggled with for many years. It plays a large role in why I am the size I am, or was. But there comes a time when you have to accept that you're in control of what you eat. Sure, I had a bad day. Sure, I had a lousy run which made me have a freak out about my half and how on earth I was going to do it when I seriously clocked a 10min km this morning. So whats the solution? Well for starters I have to stop napping during the day, its ruining my evening sleep on the weekend, making me sluggish. I have to think before I eat. I rang up the take away tonight with the intention of getting some chips and my vegie burger, but when they didnt have scallops I decided that I needed a pizza instead. So, I need to think about the reality that I may not be mentally ready to deal with take away food. I need to stop thinking that having a walking period in a run is failure, especially when I am trying something new. The fact is, I still ran 5.3kms out the 6 odd kms I went, so I didnt fail. I merely tried, didnt do as well as I wanted, so I have to try again. I need to stop trying to talk myself out of the half, every time I have a doubt I can feel my hand on the abort button. On the 27th Nov, at 7am, I WILL be on the starting line.

What can I do right now, I can go to bed, get up tomorrow and start again.

Take Care,
Megs x

Mixing it up..

I decided to head to a circuit class tonight. I took the dogs for a 40min walk first, I then came home, got changed and headed to the gym. I warmed up by doing a 20min jog, maintaining a 8.34min/km pace, I then jumped off and did an intense 30 min circuit class which included holding a squat position leaning against the wall, jumping squats, crunches, squats holding a bar above your head, star jumps, burpees, push ups with a squat in between and this exercise where you laid down and threw a medicine ball up and then caught it. It was hard, I was knackered, but felt really good at the end. I came home and loaded up my dinner plate with vegies including brussel sprouts, brocoli, peas, beans, zuchini, potato and some vegie tofu bites. I have to say, today I felt good despite having an awful nights sleep.

I also decided to participate in a fun run a week before my half. But its not your average fun run;
http://www.valleystampede.com.au/

Its going to be all kinds of awesome, I cannot wait!

Take care,
Megs x